Cold Flower
by Kaz5
Summary: Tsuzuki asked Muraki's help to save Hisoka, but not for free (MuxTsu)
1. Part 1

**Cold Flower  
by Kaz**

disclaimer: Matsushita Yoko, Hana to Yume, etc. Not mine, obviously...  
warnings: Mu x Tsu, angst, dark, PG-13 to NC-17  
notes: beta-ed by Leah and Tiggy

**Part 1 **

The loud scream echoed through the hallway and Tsuzuki froze on the spot. He closed his ears but he could still hear it. Tatsumi's hand on his shoulder strengthened, squeezing more tightly. He needed that, or else he felt he might die of fear and anger. Hisoka's cry from behind the door was more than just heart wrenching; Tsuzuki could even feel the pain he was suffering inside. The secretary stood beside him, biting his lip hard. He too wasn't sure of what to do. 

Another series of screams started and Tsuzuki turned pale, his fingers clenched white, turning to fists. The beads never stopped falling from his forehead. Fear was what he was feeling right now... 

"Tsuzuki san, are you okay?" Tatsumi's question startled the violet-eyed shinigami. 

Tsuzuki turned to him, lips trembling. He caught one of Tatsumi's arms, clutching it almost persistently, tears starting to fall from the beautiful violets. "He'll be okay, right? Tell me, Tatsumi! He'll be okay, right?!" 

Tatsumi's mouth opened and closed. He wished he had the answer to give to his beloved friend, but nothing came out of his mouth. A minute passed, and the door creaked open. Watari came through the door, sweat covering his face. Tsuzuki ran to his side, grasping the scientist's two arms almost painfully. 

"Tell me! Tell me how is he?! How is Hisoka?!" 

The amber-eyed man threw a glance towards the secretary and received a nod. Watari was hesitant, not looking into Tsuzuki's eyes as he talked. "I don't know, Tsuzuki. The truth is I don't know what happened to him..." 

"Watari! You have to know! What do you mean you don't know?! You've got to help him!!" Tsuzuki's body was shaking. Watari tried to calm him, holding his shoulders that started trembling faster. 

"Tsuzuki san!" Tatsumi pulled the violet-eyed shinigami from Watari, turning him to face him. "Please don't be like this, Tsuzuki san...!" With that he pulled the slim figure into his embrace, Tsuzuki balled his fists in his shirt, wetting his suit with tears. A moment later, he pulled away and ran to the door, pushing at the doorknob. 

Watari was too late realizing what he was going to do as he had already entered the previously closed room. "No..!! Tsuzuki, noo..!! Don't go in there!!" 

Violet eyes widened in shock as he entered the white tiled room and saw Hisoka's figure lying on the bed, legs and wrists tied to the nightstand with ropes. His skin was covered with scars while the white-sheeted bed was smeared with crimson colored blood. Emerald eyes stared blankly at the ceiling, wide open and starting to water. Hisoka's lips parted, gasping and panting. 

"Gomen," Watari took a pace closer to the violet-eyed shinigami who stood frozen on the spot. "I had to tie him up with the ropes or he might hurt himself..." 

Tsuzuki could only nod. He had seen the scars left by blunt fingernails all over the ivory skin. He knew that Hisoka did it to himself. He could only guess why... 

"Hisoka..." Tsuzuki stuttered, taking a step towards the bed. 

Tatsumi closed his mouth as he saw the small frame on the bed, turning his face to the young scientist beside him. Watari could only give him a sad look. "The wounds will heal soon, but..." He didn't continue, he didn't have to. Tatsumi knew what he wanted to say. The wounds on his skin would heal, but the wound inside his heart... 

"Hisoka..." Tsuzuki stared down at the beautiful eyes of Hisoka. He stretched out his hand, wanted to touch one cheek. 

"No! Tsuzuki, no...!!" Watari ran to his side, eyes widened with a new fear. The second Tsuzuki's finger touched the cheek, the green colored eyes opened in shock. Hisoka's body started to tremble heavily and the next minute, his scream filled the room once again. 

"Don't!" Watari pulled Tsuzuki away from the boy, "He's an empath, remember?! He could feel your wariness from the touch, and in his state now he is very sensitive..." 

Tsuzuki bit his lip hard, hearing the cold cry of his partner on the bed. Tatsumi nodded and carried him outside to the sakura garden. The place always brought peace to the violet-eyed shinigami and Tatsumi thought it would probably help. The frail figure was still trembling heavily as Tatsumi soothed his back lovingly, trying to diminish the burden inside that heart. He knew he could never do that. He knew that the only person who could cheer Tsuzuki was Hisoka, and now... 

"Tsuzuki san, I'm sure there is a way to help Kurosaki. You know that he's a strong boy, don't you?" 

Tsuzuki nodded hesitantly, violet eyes watering. "It's that curse, isn't it? That caused him to be like this... He was okay yesterday, he said that he would get me apple pie if he went to earth, but... but..." 

"Ssh... Tsuzuki san," Tatsumi held the shinigami in his arms again, almost crying himself. "Don't cry, please don't cry..." 

"Why?! Why does this have to happen to him?! Why? Tatsumi!" He punched Tatsumi's chest, still crying. "What's going to happen to him now? Tell me...!!" 

The secretary was hesitant, but he knew that sooner or later Tsuzuki would find out either way. "If he keeps on like this, I'm afraid that his spirit will become weak, and finally cease to exist. But Tsuzuki san, there's nothing we can do about it... We can only depend on Kurosaki's strength..." 

"Hisoka..." Tsuzuki pulled away from the man and ran back into the building. He had to see him now, he had too see Hisoka again. Before it became too late for him to do that. 

Watari still stood there, looking worried as he saw his violet-eyed friend come back and rush through the door. But he also understood that Tsuzuki was the person who cared most for the young shinigami's life. He saw Tsuzuki standing beside the bed, looking down at Hisoka. 

"Watari..." Tsuzuki started, "...it's because of the curse, isn't it?" 

"Eh?" Watari started, amber eyes glinted with fear and hesitancy. "Tsuzuki..." 

"Tell me!" Tsuzuki whirled, facing him. "It's because of that man's curse on him, isn't it?!" 

The longhaired man turned away. "Part of it, yes." 

"Damn him! Bastard!" Tsuzuki swore, "Why can't he leave him alone?! Why is he still torturing Hisoka after what he did to him?!" 

"It's not like that, Tsuzuki." Watari stopped, his eyes searching for Tsuzuki's hesitantly. "Tatsumi didn't tell you, did he? Today… Today is Bon's day of death..." 

Tsuzuki gasped, "...what?" 

"Yes. Some of the dead would feel the pain they suffered at their death once again on this kind of day. And as for Bon..." Watari swallowed hard, "...His dying had caused him to have a mental breakdown, that's why this is happening to him..." 

"And there's nothing we can do about it...?" 

"I'm afraid not." 

Tsuzuki stared once again towards the limp figure on the bed, closing his eyes briefly. "So are you going to say that we have to let him suffer like this?" 

"Tsuzuki..." 

The violet-eyed shinigami didn't answer as he exited the room. Watari could only see his back as he retreated back to the corridor and disappeared from the front door of the health administration building. He didn't know what was on Tsuzuki's mind that time; he wished he'd never have to know. 

While Tsuzuki knew that there was only one thing he could do. There was only one person who could help Hisoka from the entire nightmare. Hisoka suffered because of his death, and he died suffering because of the curse. That left only one person to ask for help. The same person who gave the curse to Hisoka. 

Tsuzuki shivered as the sudden breeze wrapped around his body. Clutching his jacket tighter, he descended to the earth. Who would have thought that he had to ask for help from the person he hated... 

Muraki Kazutaka.

*~*~*~*

It was a nice day at Muraki's residence. The morning was awfully warm; there was no sign of rain coming. The sun shone brightly between the white clouds and the blue sky, while the birds sang happily from outside the window. Muraki Kazutaka sighed once again as he sat himself on the seat in his dining room, alone. He loved nice weather, but more, he loved nice weather at night. Morning made him sleepy. 

Tipping his glasses, he took the morning paper from the table and started flipping the pages. The butler came in and gave him the mail for that day on a silver tray. The young doctor lazily picked up the pile of letters and started to sort them one by one. One letter caught his attention. It was an invitation to a party from a friend. 

"Well, well, Matsuoka san is celebrating his fortieth birthday tomorrow..." He smiled bitterly, "wonder why it took so long for this letter to arrive..." 

The butler smiled to him, "Are you going to ask Miss Ukyou to come with you to the party, Muraki sama?" 

Muraki tilted his head and smiled. "I don't know if she could come with me on such short notice, Sakaki. I don't know... I guess I'll have to go there by myself..." 

The butler nodded and left him to finish his breakfast. Muraki tossed the invitation onto the pile of letters and continued to read his paper. There was nothing interesting to read. There was no murder happening in town, it was just another normal boring day. He flipped the next page, puckering one of his brows in surprise. A silver eye gleamed behind the glasses as he read a small advertisement. 

_"The King of Swords. _

_I'll be waiting for you at Nagasaki. _

_Shinigami" _

His lips curved into a wicked smile as he finished reading that. There was no doubt that it was sent by Tsuzuki Asato. But why? Was it a trap to catch him and finally kill him? No, Tsuzuki would never do that... The reason why he placed the advertisement was because he didn't know where he was, and he thought this way he could invite him to come. 

The shinigami needed something from him, Muraki realized. Something had happened and he needed his help. Muraki smiled in satisfaction as he reread the invitation on the paper and chuckled evilly. 

"My beloved… At last, we can see each other again..."

-tbc-

To some of you who didn't realize earlier... my fic 'Under The Red Moon' was removed by FF.net admin *sticks tongue* it was my only success fic, I guess.... and they took it down! I can't believe this... Anyway, it was stored at Mu x Tsu ML home though, but the revised (aka beta-ed version) is at my site, 

-end of rants-


	2. Part 2

**Cold Flower by Kaz  
Part 2**

Standard disclaimer applied  
Warnings: Muraki x Tsuzuki, angst, dark, lemon in parts, PG-13 -- NC-17  
Notes: This part beta-ed by Tiggy!! yay! And oh--the title taken from the song by The Brilliant Green, 'Tsumetai Hana' (Cold Flower)

* * * * *

Tsuzuki clutched his dark coat more tightly as he entered the church building; it was the nervousness that made him do so more than the cold air. He walked down the long aisle and knelt in front of the altar. He didn't even know why he did that. God couldn't give him the answer to his prayer for help for Hisoka. There was no single being in the world that could help his partner except the man he hated so much. Muraki was his only hope, and if he failed... 

The violet-eyed shinigami closed his eyes, shaking his head. No, he didn't want to think about that. The only thing in his mind now was to cure Hisoka, no matter what it took. 

He sat there for more than ten minutes, not moving a single muscle. Until a single red rose dropped next to him. The color of the flower was crimson red. Just like blood. A Red Queen rose, Tsuzuki recalled. 

"Waiting for someone, Tsuzuki san?" That familiar voice tickled him as the newcomer whispered in his ear, a wisp of warm breath touching his neck. 

Tsuzuki stood up and turned to face the man standing behind him. He recognized the long white coat and the enigmatic charisma that enveloped the man with an angelic aura. But his look couldn't fool Tsuzuki. Muraki was far from an angel. A fallen angel would be more appropriate. 

"Muraki," he gulped and looked up to the other man. Muraki was smiling almost sincerely at him, following his every move with his eyes. "Yes, it's me, Tsuzuki san. Were you expecting someone else?" 

Tsuzuki closed his eyes briefly and then, "I need to talk to you..." 

"Well, it is quite obvious, Tsuzuki san," Muraki chuckled. "Otherwise, you wouldn't have bothered calling me to Nagasaki." 

The shinigami nodded and walked to the door. "Let's talk outside." 

"Are you afraid of God listening to our little conversation?" Muraki asked with a cynical smirk. 

The question didn't receive an answer, for Tsuzuki turned away and opened the door. The doctor followed him to the back garden of the church. The place was quiet and beautiful, covered with trees and far from people's sight. But then again, Tsuzuki never thought that people actually noticed them both. 

Tsuzuki stared cautiously at the other man, eyes trembling with hesitancy. He couldn't even think of a single word to say. He'd thought it would be easy after he finally met with Muraki, to confront him about what had happened. But once again, he was wrong. 

"Are we just going to stay like this forever?" Muraki's smirk was evil. "I could offer you something more... pleasant, if you just let me, Tsuzuki san." 

Hissing silently, the handsome shinigami finally spoke. "I want you to leave him alone." 

The doctor wrinkled his forehead. "I'm afraid I don't understand what you're talking about, Tsuzuki-san," he replied with genuine puzzlement. Tsuzuki gritted his teeth, eyeing the doctor suspiciously. 

"Hisoka. I want you to leave him alone." 

"Hi-soka?" the silver eye blinked and then he chuckled lightly. The kind of chuckle that made Tsuzuki shiver along his spine. "You invited me to come here just to talk about that boy? You're making me so jealous, Tsuzuki san." He gave a playful pout and chuckled some more. 

"Stop that! You know what I'm talking about! He's in pain now because of you! You have to do something about your curse!" Tsuzuki blurted out everything. His knuckles turned white in anger, teeth clenched. "You did that to him! You have the responsibility to save him!" 

"Eh?" Muraki made a face, "did _what_ to him? Really, Tsuzuki san, I'm not following you..." 

"You made him almost lose his mind. You tortured him with his past and now... and now..." Tsuzuki couldn't believe that his eyes had started to water. Dammit, why now? Why did he have to cry in front of his worst enemy...?! 

And he gasped as strong arms enveloped his body tightly, a finger dancing its way across his cheek, trailing Tsuzuki's tears. "Please don't cry, Tsuzuki san... Why do you always ending up crying when you're with me?" 

"I'll give you anything..." Tsuzuki whispered suddenly, his voice almost inaudible. He felt Muraki tense for a second, but the doctor managed to control himself better than anyone. 

"Anything at all?" Muraki whispered seductively in his ear, pulling him even closer. The shinigami could feel his body flush against the other's. But then he nodded. To his astonishment, Muraki let him go instead. 

The taller man looked thoughtful, albeit curious over what he had said. Tsuzuki could only swallow hard as he saw the changing of Muraki's expression, as he gazed at him with a cold silver eye under the glasses. 

"What exactly do you want me to do?" The doctor finally asked, a smile crossing his lips. 

"I want you to save Hisoka from the curse. To take away his pain..." 

Muraki chuckled. "Why do you think I want to do that? Even if you do give yourself to me willingly." 

Tsuzuki looked away; nothing came out from his mouth. And then the doctor continued, "It's the boy's day of death, isn't it? He suffered because what caused his death was my curse, isn't that it?" 

"You!" Violet eyes glared, "So it was you all this time!" 

"No, Tsuzuki san. Everybody knows about that; all lost souls will suffer from their cause of death if they're not strong enough. It's his hatred of me that made him like that... It's not my fault this time, is it?" He smirked, "But I can still help you if you want." 

Tsuzuki's lips trembled. "S-So, you can really help him?! Muraki?!" 

"Is your offer still valid?" Muraki took another step towards the shinigami. Tsuzuki nodded slightly, swallowing hard. 

"Yes." 

The doctor smiled. "Okay then," he leaned in to kiss the side of the shinigami's neck and felt him shivering at the simple touch. "I want you to be mine, Tsuzuki san..." 

Tsuzuki didn't move from his spot, biting his lip hard as the other man started to suck his skin and planted light kisses over his throat. 

_This is for Hisoka, for Hisoka... for Hisoka..._

The words had became his mantra as one arm snaked around his waist and pulled his body against Muraki's once again. Muraki's hand roamed his back and down, leaving him with a sick feeling all over his skin. He was sick of himself, he was sick of the other man. 

_But anything for Hisoka..._

The doctor released him at last, eyeing him carefully from behind his glasses. "I want you to be mine for five days, Tsuzuki san." 

"Eh?" Tsuzuki's eyes went wide, mouth open in disbelief. Five days? Muraki only asked five days of him. It was something he never thought would come from the mad doctor's mouth. "F-Five days?" 

Muraki gave him a small smile and turned around, walking away from the shinigami's view. "...for only five days, Tsuzuki-san..." 

"Muraki?!" 

White feathers started to form in thin air, accompanied by white lights surrounding the white-clad man. And in only a blink of an eye, Muraki had disappeared from his view. Tsuzuki swallowed hard. He did it. He made the agreement with the doctor; the only thing that he believed could save his best friend. Hisoka would survive and that was the only thing that mattered, right? 

Taking a deep breath, he walked back to the church. It was time to go back to Meifuu.

* * * * *

Muraki sighed heavily as he stared out of the window. It was such a beautiful day, he thought dimly. He'd never thought that his meeting with the shinigami would give him such a pleasure. Tsuzuki indeed asking for his help, and it was for that boy. That doll of his. Why would he bother to help that boy if he could have Tsuzuki in his own way? He could just invite the violet-eyed shinigami with piles of corpses, or play with his mind until he just couldn't help it. The doctor smirked at the thought. No, it wouldn't be fun at all... He wouldn't enjoy it one bit if Tsuzuki wasn't willing. And now there was a chance... Now he had come to him of his own free will and offered him the one thing he always wanted so badly… 

Well, maybe he wouldn't be doing that if it weren't for the boy. But, it didn't matter, as Tsuzuki would become his completely for five days. 

One or two days would not be enough to tame the shinigami. Three or four days wouldn't be enough for him to enjoy himself. But six was just too much... He didn't want to find himself in danger. He mustn't get trapped in those amethyst depths that fascinated him so. He didn't want to fall in love, even with Tsuzuki Asato. 

Love... is after all... just an illusion... 

Smiling to himself, he walked to his chamber to prepare the ritual.

-tbc-

This story is definitely more easy to write than 'Daughter of The Darkness' so I think I'll finish this one first o.O Long way to go, Kaz... =P And uhm--Thank you for the reviews! *hugs reviewers* I read them all =)


	3. Part 3

Thank you reviewers!!! ^___^ *glomps with tears* Who would thought that there are so many Mu x Tsu fans out there! Yeah! and btw, my username here turned into Kaz5.. wow, I got a number, I guess I'm not that original... *drags away by Muraki sensei*

**Cold Flower  
by Kaz**

Standard disclaimer applied  
Warnings: Muraki x Tsuzuki, angst, dark, lemon in parts, PG-13 -- NC-17  
Notes: Beta-ed by Tiggy, and oh--the title taken from the song by The Brilliant Green, 'Tsumetai Hana' (Cold Flower)

* * * * *

**Part 3**

Tsuzuki walked limply to Tatsumi's side the minute he entered the health administration building. He gazed into the deep blue of the secretary's eyes, seeking information. Tatsumi shook his head, expression deep with concern. The violet-eyed shinigami bit his lower lip, leaning against the wall. He didn't know exactly what Muraki would do, but he believed in him. For just this one time he would believe in him. But he also knew that Muraki wouldn't help his partner that easily. What if he decided to torture Hisoka instead? What if he changed his mind? What if... 

A long sharp cry could be heard from inside the room where Hisoka was, and then the silence resumed. Tsuzuki tensed, looking warily at the secretary. They rushed to the door and almost bumped into Watari who just came out of the room. 

"Watari san, how is he doing?" Tatsumi asked. 

Watari nodded, looking calmer than before. "I'm not so sure... just a minute ago he looked really in pain, but after that..." 

Tsuzuki swallowed hard. "After that...? Watari, please tell me what happened?" 

"I'm not sure, Tsuzuki. He looked better, but I can't really tell for how much longer... He looked a bit more relaxed, but I'm not taking chances by releasing him..." Watari explained. 

Tsuzuki nodded. So something did change; maybe there was hope after all for Hisoka. Muraki had done something, he was certain of it. "Can I see him now? Is it okay for me to come and see him?" 

Watari traded glances with Tatsumi, biting his lip, then shook his head. "Not yet, Tsuzuki. We should really wait for another hour. I'll let you see him after I untie the ropes..." 

Tsuzuki felt a bit disappointed, but part of the burden had lifted from his shoulders. Something inside his heart mellowed a little. "Arigatou, Arigatou, Watari..." 

The scientist shook his head, smiling brightly. "No, Tsuzuki. You have to thank Bon himself. If he gets through this, that must mean that he has conquered his biggest weakness alone..." 

The violet-eyed shinigami could only nod. But he knew that it wasn't over yet. Muraki waited for him. He was the man behind all this, he was the one who had helped Hisoka. Tsuzuki hated the reality, but he was also glad that he had done the right thing. Hisoka would never forgive him if he found out, but there had been no other choice to make. He would be more than glad to give up his life for Hisoka's. The whole world could call him selfish for taking the decision on his own. But he didn't want to lose his friend, his partner, his... family... Even if it meant that he had to become Muraki's.

* * * * *

Darkness... He was surrounded by darkness. No matter where he ran, he could only see the darkness surrounding him. Flashes of red light hurt his eyes. The sight of the red moon above made him ache inside. The vision of his death haunted his every step, sending sharp pains all over his skin. 

That man... That man with silver hair haunted him. His voice... his shadow... He hated everything in him. The man who had killed him years ago... 

Everything was so painful... 

And then he felt something warm behind him. He turned back and saw the images of his dear friend. The beautiful amethyst eyes... The beautiful smile... Everything about him looked so… natural, so friendly... so warm... 

"Tsuzuki..." 

His hand tried to touch the image but it faded away before his eyes as another sharp pain threatened him. Something was eating him from the inside, every cell in his body burning him, making him tremble again and again until he thought he would die because of it… But he had already died... 

"No... no... Tsuzuki, help me... Tsuzuki..." His voice come out as a muffled cry, "...help me out of here... Tsuzuki..." 

But the pain wouldn't let him move. He stumbled on his feet, feeling his skin burn, and blood started to drip from every pore of his skin. Blood covered the ground where he stood, filling his vision with crimson color. 

"NOOOO...!" He cried into the thick air, tears starting to well in his eyes and wet his cheeks. And when he thought that he would die in pain, he saw a bright light above him. And then suddenly, something warm covered him, embracing him with the power he never had thought existed in this world. 

"Tsuzuki..." And then the world went blank.

* * * * *

Watari cut the ropes that bound the young shinigami with full caution. The boy looked better after a few hours and his colour had started to come back. He was a bit worried that a single touch could reawaken the pain and he tried his best to be careful. And then slowly, he saw the emerald eyes open. 

"Bon," Watari called, "...you're awake." 

Hisoka tilted his head to see him, blinking slowly to adjust his eyes to the light. "Watari-san..." 

"Hai, hai. It's me," the amber-eyed man replied cheerfully. "You're feeling okay now?" 

He nodded, apparently trying to reassure Watari, and then, "Where is he?" 

"Eh?" Watari frowned, and then smiled knowingly. "Tsuzuki's just outside, do you want me to call him in here? He's really worried about you, just like a mother hen..." He shook his head and laughed. "I know there's lots for you two to talk about." 

"No." Hisoka shook his head weakly. "You don't have to..." 

The scientist nodded in confusion, but then saw that faint smile cross Hisoka's face. The one that proved to him that he really was okay now. Once he was finished with the ropes, he covered the small figure with the blanket, tucking him inside the thick warmth. Hisoka thanked him silently before he went out through the door and to the hallway. 

Tsuzuki was still there, sitting on the chair with his head in his hands. He stood up abruptly as he saw the door open. Violet eyes glinted with wariness, as if something was bothering him. "How is he?" 

"He's awake." 

"Eh?" Tsuzuki's eyes widened in surprise, and then, "Really? ...Can I see him now?" 

Watari sighed heavily. "He doesn't want to see you yet." 

The violet eyes looked a little disappointed, Tsuzuki looked down to his shoes. "Oh..." 

"But you're the first one he asked about when he woke up." Watari smiled widely. "He's okay now, don't worry too much, Tsuzuki..." 

The smile was back on Tsuzuki's face, violet eyes had their light back. "Yokatta... That's good news then... I-I better tell Tatsumi about this... He went back to the office because kachou called him just a minute ago…" 

"But I'm sure that Bon won't mind if I do let you come in..." Watari sang and looked away for a second, teasing the other man. And then he saw a faint color creeping up Tsuzuki's cheeks and then a wide smile. 

"Thank you..." Tsuzuki said silently and walked to the door of the room. "Can... Can you come with me inside? I don't want to be alone with him... I don't think..." 

The longhaired man was startled, but nodded anyway at the request. He joined Tsuzuki inside the room. Hisoka still lay in the bed, eyes closed peacefully, but he was far from asleep. As he heard someone entered the room, gem-colored eyes opened and widened as they met a pair of violets. 

"I... I said that I don't want to see you..." Hisoka stuttered, his eyes filled with embarrassment. Watari could only smile. He knew that the reason was just because the boy didn't want Tsuzuki to see him like that, lying weak in bed. 

Tsuzuki smiled, walking to his side. "But I need to see you." The words melted the boy away. He looked away for only a brief moment, hiding the color in his cheeks. Tsuzuki looked down to the boy on the bed, smiling. "You look better... Yokatta..." 

Hisoka restrained himself from smiling, or at least that's what Watari thought he was trying to do. "I guess so..." the boy answered dimly. 

Tsuzuki's eyes started to well with tears despite his smiling face. He sank down to the floor, started muttering. "Thank God that you're okay... I was so worried.. and... and... I thought that you'd..." 

"Baka!" Hisoka sat up in the bed, turning a little pink. "You don't have to cry like that, you... you baka!" he stretched his hand out to touch Tsuzuki's shoulder. But reluctantly the dark-haired man pulled away, eyes filled with surprise. 

"Tsuzuki?" Watari called in concern, "...are you okay?" 

Tsuzuki looked a little nervous, and then nodded. Eyes on Hisoka he said quietly, "I... I'd better go now... T-Take care..." And before the other two shinigamis could utter a single word, Tsuzuki had run through the door, leaving Hisoka and Watari alone in the room. 

"Tsuzuki!" Hisoka tried to call him, hand catching empty air before him. Watari pushed him back to the bed, tucking him in. The young shinigami glared slightly in annoyance but obeyed him anyway. 

"He didn't want me to touch him." The boy's words came, surprising him. "He's afraid that I'll read something inside his heart." 

"Eh?" Watari blinked, startled. "Why do you think that?" 

Hisoka shrugged. "I don't know..." 

"He was really worried about you," Watari smiled. "He didn't want you to see that inside his mind, I guess... he really cares about you, Bon..." 

Hisoka nodded. "Maybe. I..." 

"Yes?" 

"Nothing..." The boy looked away, eyes to the window. Watari nodded as he saw another faint smile on the boy's face. Shaking his head, he excused himself and closed the door behind him as he left the room. Those two could be really hard to deal with sometimes…

* * * * *

The sakura flowers always bloom beautifully in the garden, he noted. He loved the way their flowers hung from the branches, filling it with color. He loved the weather, it was warm and perfect, and everything couldn't be more perfect because he knew that Hisoka would be all right. Yes, he smiled, he would be okay, alive… and nothing could be better than that... 

"Tsuzuki." 

He turned around, seeing Watari walking towards him with a big smile. "I thought I'd find you here." 

Tsuzuki smiled back widely, eyes narrowing to slits as he did so. Leaning against one of the tree trunks, he sighed gladly. "He will be okay now, won't he?" 

"Yeah, I hope so... and I don't think there's much doubt that he will." Another reassuring smile from the scientist. "He said something strange though... He said that you don't want him to touch you, afraid that he might read your mind..." 

The violet eyes widened a bit when he heard the words. "He... said that?" 

"Yup." The smile was gone from Watari's face. "Is it true?" 

"I..." The violet-eyed shinigami stammered, "Maybe... I..." 

The scientist shrugged, smiling again. "S'okay if you don't wanna tell me, yanno...?" 

Tsuzuki nodded, swallowing hard before his next words. "How long before he'll be able to get back to work?" 

"Eh? Masaka? Tsuzuki, yer not gonna ask him to go to a mission soon, are you?" Watari scowled. 

Tsuzuki shook his head. "Not that, Watari. I just…" He stopped and then continued, "I-I think I'll need some time for myself if that's okay... I mean, Tatsumi probably won't let me..." 

Watari was caught by surprise. "You mean you're going? Where? How long?" 

"Five days or so..." Tsuzuki forced a smile, "...I'll be back soon. Can you tell Tatsumi tomorrow morning, and tell him not to look for me..." 

"Oh, okay... But..." Watari looked confused. "What if Bon..." 

"He'll be okay," Tsuzuki cut him off. "Just tell him that I'll be back for him soon... And don't be worried about me..." He smiled, this time sincerely. Watari looked a little confused at first but then smiled widely like his old cheerful self. 

"Okay. I'll tell that to the stingy secretary first thing in the morning!" he chimed while making a face. 

Tsuzuki chuckled with him, knowing that at least he had one problem solved. Hisoka would be alright, and with a little help from Watari, Tatsumi would probably let him have some days off. It wasn't exactly a vacation for him, knowing what awaited him on earth. He would have to deal with Muraki now. But at least Hisoka was safe, and there was no concern over him anymore. 

And soon, he could see Hisoka again. But before that, he had to do something, fulfilling his promise to his worst enemy.

* * * * *

Muraki stood there in front of the church, waiting for him. His white coat fluttered just a little as the wind blew around him. Tsuzuki shivered a little, knowing that he had probably made the worst bargain ever. Muraki reached out a hand as he stood an arm's length from the doctor. He was hesitant, but took the hand, feeling its warmth through his skin. His mouth opened just a little, surprised at the sudden warmth that enveloped him with the simple contact they made. 

"Tsuzuki-san, I'm glad that you came." Muraki's voice was deep and low, sending shivers all through the shinigami's body, more than the cold wind could cause. 

Tsuzuki nodded, letting himself be pulled into an embrace and a kiss was planted on his cheek. "Come then..." Muraki whispered thickly into his hair. 

"Wait," Tsuzuki laid his palm on the other man's chest. "There is one more thing..." 

"Oh?" Muraki was only a little annoyed, "You're not going to trick me, are you?" he smirked. 

Tsuzuki shook his head, biting his lip. "I... I want you to erase my memory after these five days..." 

"Why do I have to?" Muraki frowned, looking a little perplexed by the request. 

"Hisoka is an empath, he could read my mind if he touches me. If he knew about what happened, he would rather die than know it was you who saved him," Tsuzuki said in a soft tone. "If that happens, it would be the same as killing him... I don't want that to happen..." 

The silver eye glinted with something Tsuzuki couldn't define as he finished his sentence. Muraki's smile faded for just a brief moment. "What a beautiful relationship you have there, Tsuzuki-san... now I am really jealous of the two of you..." 

"Muraki?" Tsuzuki felt a little surprise when the doctor released him and walked past him, "...So what do you say?" 

The doctor stopped; turning back, he stretched another hand towards the shinigami. "It's a deal." He smiled. "Now, shall we?" 

Tsuzuki took the hand and felt that warmth surround him once again. He tried to ignore it, but found himself failing. Muraki walked in front of him, his figure looking so gracious with that long white coat, and his hair sparkled as it was touched by the morning sun. Tsuzuki closed his eyes briefly and felt his heart filled with a little relief. He will forget, he said, he will forget and everything would be back to normal again... 

Wouldn't it?

-tbc-

Oookaaaay, now REVIEW! *gives cookies* just like what April-san said, all flames will be given to Shishio while energy blast thrown to Krad. However, all review will be sent to a certain puppy shinigami ^_~  
And I hope Yasai-san already found that fic 'Under The Red Moon' the redirection site didn't work too well, did it? I change the site address with the original site now... *sigh*

-signing off- and the part 4 will be out when the review hit 30 - eheh.. just kidding - or do I? - *winks*


	4. Part 4

author's rants is at the bottom.

* * * * *

Standard disclaimer applied  
Warnings: Muraki x Tsuzuki, some angst, lemon in parts (maybe, not so sure about it anymore...), PG-13 -- NC-17  
Special thanks to Tiggy for beta effort, Anita for her encouragements, and everybody who review. Thanks minna... *hugs*

* * * * *

**Cold Flower  
Part 4**

Tsuzuki didn't know where Muraki had teleported the two of them. The next thing he knew, he was standing in the middle of the living room of a house. The place was nice and warm, with walls painted in cream-colored paint and the floor covered with a crimson colored rug. In one corner he could see a small but elegantly designed fireplace; while in another wall there was a big, thick glassy door that faced a small backyard. Tsuzuki could see the green lawns and small traditional pond; bushes of Red Queen roses were planted in every corner of the garden. 

He wondered if this was where Muraki had lived all this time, and that would mean that he was in... Tokyo? 

"Here we are, Tsuzuki-san. Do you like our home?" Muraki asked suddenly, removing his white coat as he did so and threw it carefully onto the sofa. 

Tsuzuki walked to the glass door and slid it open. He felt the warm breeze wash his face and he closed his eyes as his nose caught the fragrance of the roses. The next thing he knew, Muraki had helped him to open his coat and removed it from his shoulders, throwing it on top of his own coat on the sofa. 

"Is this your home?" Tsuzuki stared at the pond. Muraki's hands rested on his waist, holding him from behind. He could feel the doctor's warm breath on his neck. 

Muraki smiled against the smooth neck and nipped it gently. "No, this is _our_ home, Tsuzuki-san." 

"Are we in Tokyo?" he asked again, biting his lip as Muraki started to kiss and suck at his skin, "...are we?" 

"No." 

Muraki let him go at last. Strange, Tsuzuki thought dimly, he almost felt a loss as the other man released him. He turned to face Muraki, who had started to put his coat back on "No? I thought you lived in Tokyo?" 

"I do," Muraki smiled, his eyes turning to slits. "But I told you that this is not my home, Tsuzuki. This is ours." 

"You're confusing me," Tsuzuki frowned. "Where are you going?" 

Muraki took the dark coat in his arms and helped Tsuzuki to put it back on. "_We're_ going shopping, so you can buy something to wear tonight, and also some clothes for the next five days." 

Tsuzuki fastened his coat himself and with a puzzled expression followed the doctor to the door. "Where are we going tonight?" He raised his eyebrows; stepping outside he saw Muraki's car waiting for them. 

"My friend's holding a party, and you're going to be my date, Tsuzuki." Muraki smirked and opened the door for him. The violet-eyed shinigami slid into the passenger seat. 

"Oh," was his only comment as he stared out of the window blankly. The truth was that he couldn't think of anything else right now. He barely cared where Muraki would take him that day or maybe tonight, barely cared what the doctor planned to do with him for the next five days. His mind was filled with the thought of a certain green-eyed boy. How was his partner doing in Meifuu? Was he completely healed yet? Was he asking about him? _Hisoka..._

A hand squeezed his suddenly and Tsuzuki almost jerked at the touch. He looked down to his lap before finally lifting his face to see Muraki's. He thought he saw the silver eye turn grim for a second, filled with disappointment. Muraki's eyes were now facing towards the windscreen, hands on the steering wheel. 

"I don't want you to think about anybody else but me for the next five days, Tsuzuki-san. Is that too much to ask?" 

The shinigami started, felt his face warm with color. Why did Muraki's voice sound so... disappointed? So... sincere... as if he really did care about what he thought? About who he was thinking of? 

"Can you do that, Tsuzuki-san?" 

Tsuzuki felt his lips tremble. Why was he feeling guilty now? For thinking about Hisoka when he was with Muraki? But he nodded at the question. "Okay..." 

The smile was back on Muraki's face, and Tsuzuki couldn't believe that his heart felt a little eased by it. He turned his face away, looking to his own window as Muraki started the engine and drove away from the garage. 

Along the way, watching the streets and lines of shops, Tsuzuki realized that they were still in Nagasaki. They'd never gone too far from the city. The place where they first met. He didn't know why Muraki took him here; was it really something to do with his friend's party as he said earlier? 

The car stopped in front of a shop that seemed like an expensive kind of boutique to Tsuzuki. Muraki opened the door for him and Tsuzuki could feel his face flush as a couple watching them started giggling. Muraki just smiled and held his hand as they entered the shop. 

"Muraki-san!" A well-dressed woman greeted the doctor as they entered the shop and smiled widely, revealing her white teeth. "Long time no see. Are you here for Matsuoka-san's party?" 

Muraki smiled and bowed elegantly. "Your store is always my first choice to shop, Isabelle..." He took the lady's hand and kissed it. 

The woman named Isabelle chuckled delightedly and then smiled as she saw Tsuzuki. "And this is...?" 

"Ah, this is Tsuzuki Asato, a friend of mine. He's the main reason why I'm here today, Isabelle. Can you show him some of your best collections?" The doctor smiled to Tsuzuki and pushed him lightly towards Isabelle. 

"N-Nice to meet you, Miss. Isabelle..." The shinigami stuttered, not knowing how to act in front of this elegant lady. Isabelle's lips curved into a warm smile, "Your body is quite proportional, Tsuzuki-chan!" She beamed, "...have you ever thought to be a model? I could use you in my place if you're interested." 

Tsuzuki 's eyes widened, his face flushing. He turned in Muraki's direction and saw the other man start to laugh. "I'm so sorry, Isabelle, but Tsuzuki already has a job he couldn't leave, ne, Tsuzuki-san?" 

The violet-eyed man eeped and nodded vigorously at Muraki's remark. Isabelle pouted playfully. She took Tsuzuki's hand in hers and half-dragged him to the back chambers, saying that she would try to persuade him about the job by showing him her best collections. The shinigami threw a pleading face to Muraki, but the only response was a sweet smile from the doctor. 

"You should try this one, Tsuzuki-chan!" Isabelle showed him a very beautiful tailored black suit. Tsuzuki was more amazed with the price tag that she forgot to hide. Isabelle chuckled lightly, "don't worry, I'll give you a big discount. But even if I didn't, I'm certain that Muraki would end up buying this tux for you..." 

"Huh?!" Tsuzuki could feel his face flush for some reason, "...M-Muraki?" 

Isabelle winked, "Hai. You're going to be his date for the night, right? You have to look better than any of the other guests at the party. Sensei has lots of fans, you know? They don't even care that he's engaged..." 

The shinigami started, swallowing hard. "Engaged?" Tsuzuki could even feel his heat beat faster. What the hell was happening to him anyway? It wasn't his business whether Muraki had a fiancée or not... And all this time he thought... 

"Oh," Isabelle's eyes widened, caught in surprise. "You didn't know? Ah, chotto -- gomen, I mean, Tsuzuki-chan. I thought..." 

Tsuzuki took the tuxedo and smiled, "It's okay... It's not like I..." He stopped on his words. Why was it so hard for him to continue? He finally smiled after a long silence and walked to the dressing room. "I'll be right back."

* * * * *

Muraki flipped the newspaper and started to browse the science columns, to see if there were any new developments. But his mind wasn't really in the mood for anything right at that moment. Well, except for a certain violet-eyed shinigami. He sighed, and put the newspaper aside. He wondered what was taking Tsuzuki so long inside with Isabelle. A smile crossed his face as he imagined his violet-eyed shinigami being forced to try every tuxedo she had in the store just to see what suited him the best. He should buy shoes for the party too, not forgetting buying some clothes he could wear for their five days together. 

Five days... Why was he starting to regret asking only five days of the shinigami? Shaking his head, he tried to think about something else when Isabelle appeared from the room, alone. 

"Isabelle," Muraki called to her. "Where is Tsuzuki?" 

The woman wore a strange expression, rushing to his side almost hastily. Muraki could see her eyes were filled with regret as she stepped closer. "I'm so sorry, Muraki-san. I think I said something wrong to Tsuzuki, I..." 

"Yes?" Muraki frowned, not following one bit what she was talking about. 

"I mentioned your fiancée to him, and he... I don't think he knew about Ukyou-san..." 

Muraki was stunned for only a brief moment, and then said, "That's okay, Isabelle, he would have found out sooner or later. It's okay, really..." 

"Demo..." The woman still seemed troubled. "You really like him, don't you, Muraki-san? I can see it in your eyes, you can't fool Isabelle here! Me and my big mouth!" she kept cursing herself. 

The doctor chuckled, eyeing her with a smile glinting in his eyes. "Daijoubu, Isabelle. Between me and Tsuzuki-san, it is merely... business." 

"Eh?" The woman startled, "I thought… Muraki-san, you really like him, don't you?" 

Muraki smiled instead of answering. Isabelle shrugged, not understanding anything about what the man was thinking. And suddenly the door to the dressing chamber opened slightly and then Tsuzuki stepped outside. He looked hesitant as he made his appearance, dressed in the expensive tuxedo Isabelle had chosen for him. 

Scratching the back of his head, he lifted his face to see Muraki's. "So? How do I look?" 

Muraki couldn't believe the small gasp that he made as he saw his shinigami enter the room wearing the tuxedo. He looked more than elegant. He always knew that Tsuzuki was beautiful, one thing that attracted him the most, but seeing him like this now almost made him want the other man for the rest of his life instead of five short days. 

"Well?" Tsuzuki made a face, wrinkling his forehead even more. 

Muraki walked to him, staring from head to toe with amazement. "It's perfect, Tsuzuki-san... You look so perfect in black. Just the way I knew you would..." 

"Kakkoii!" Isabelle chimed and rushed to the young shinigami, "...Now we just have to find you the perfect tie and the shirt! Oh my! I forgot the shirt for you!" The woman almost ran to the back chamber once again. 

"It's too expensive," Tsuzuki finally spoke as Isabelle disappeared through the door, eyes searching for the doctor's hesitantly. "It's really not for me..." 

Muraki chuckled lightly, hands lifting to brush at some fluff that rested on Tsuzuki's shoulders. "There's nothing too expensive for you, Tsuzuki-san. If you like the suit, I'll take it." 

"Eh? Demo..." His words were stopped by The doctor's finger over his lips. The shinigami took a step back, releasing himself from Muraki's demanding gaze and looked away, a faint color creeping up the violet-eyed man's cheeks. 

Isabelle was back with an armful of expensive shirts. Smiling widely, she shoved them into Tsuzuki's arms. "Here, my very best collections just for you, Tsuzuki-san. Just tell me which one suits you the best!" She smiled proudly. 

"Huh? But... Muraki..." 

Muraki took half of the pile of shirts and sorted them one by one critically. He pulled out a white silk shirt and showed it to the shinigami. "What about this one, Tsuzuki-san? It's perfect for the suit you have..." 

The violet-eyed man eyed the insanely high price tag and gulped. "Uhm--let me see the other shirts first..." he said meekly. 

"Okay, then..." Isabelle smiled, "just call me when you have made your choice." She left the two of them and went to the other corner to greet some new costumers. 

"Come sit here with me, Tsuzuki-san." Muraki sat on the sofa and patted the seat next to him. The shinigami obeyed him, sitting with arms full with shirts and started sorting them out, the price tag always the first thing he checked. Muraki chortled and pulled him closer by the waist, before placing a kiss on his cheek. 

Tsuzuki jerked away, his face crimson, "Don't do that again, we're in public." 

"Oh?" Muraki made a face. "So is it okay to do that if there's no one around?" He winked. 

The shinigami hissed and started to pay attention to the shirts again. "They are all too expensive..." 

"Which one do you like?" Muraki took one of the shirts Tsuzuki held in his arms, "What about this one?" 

"Uhm--no." 

"You're not a very good liar," Muraki chuckled and saw Tsuzuki blush at his remark. The shirt was another silk shirt, the color was ivory and it looked even more expensive than the first shirt Muraki had showed him. "If you want this one, let's take it." He nodded and almost hurriedly called for Isabelle. 

"Muraki...!" He tried to refuse but Isabelle had rushed to their side and taken the shirt, smiling widely and complementing his taste in clothes. 

"We're also going to need a tie," Muraki said suddenly. "I want it to be violet, a color that matches Tsuzuki's eyes perfectly." 

Tsuzuki gasped in surprise, but Isabelle had dragged him to the tie corner and showed him a tie that suited Muraki's request. "This is perfect for you, Tsuzuki-chan!" 

"We'll take that." Muraki said hastily before Tsuzuki could reject the silken tie and gave the woman his credit card. The doctor saw the shinigami's jaw dropped as he saw the price on the receipt, eyeing Muraki nervously afterwards. Muraki just smiled sweetly, trying to assure him that everything was being taken care of. 

"The next thing we need is a pair of shoes, Tsuzuki-san." He said calmly.

* * * * *

As they walked back to Muraki's car, Tsuzuki still couldn't believe that he had purchased a bag of expensive clothes bought only to attend a party with the doctor. Tatsumi would be enraged to know that amount of money was spent just on clothes. That would really make sense because even ten years of service at the bureau would barely pay for the suit. 

"I thought you were going to buy suits too?" Tsuzuki asked as soon as they entered the shoe shop. 

Muraki threw him a knowing glance and smiled. "No, today is only for you, Tsuzuki-san. I have my suits at home already." 

"Oh," he nodded and followed the doctor inside. Muraki spoke to the man that seemed like the owner and the next minute Tsuzuki was seated in a chair, boxes of shoes from many famous brands surrounding him. "And you want me to pick a pair of shoes from all these?" 

"I like those black ones, they would go perfectly with the suit. What do you think?" Muraki pointed one pair out and Tsuzuki could only nod. The price was another record for Tsuzuki, he'd never even seen more than fifty thousand yen with his own eyes before, and now Muraki had spent more than that just to get him ready for a party. 

"What do you think about lunch?" Muraki asked at one point and Tsuzuki could hear his stomach growling for food. He just hoped that the doctor wouldn't hear it and nodded his agreement. 

The restaurant was another luxurious place Tsuzuki thought he would never visit in his entire life. Muraki ordered him the food and for his satisfaction -- sweet dessert. 

"What a nice day, isn't it, Tsuzuki-san?" Muraki asked him as the violet-eyed man started to eat his next spoonful of ice cream. Tsuzuki nodded and wiped the cream from his lips. "Ah, you missed one spot, here." Muraki took his own napkin and wiped the cream from the corner of Tsuzuki's mouth. 

The shinigami started, but didn't do anything to stop the other man, not after what Muraki had done for him today. But some part of him was saying that it was not because of the dessert. He saw Muraki's smile; it was so reassuring. He almost believed that this person in front of him was not the same person who had killed so many people in his life. Not the person who killed Hisoka. 

Hisoka... 

"There's that face again." Muraki stated, eyeing him carefully. "Tsuzuki-san, you're not thinking about someone else, are you...?" 

He was startled by the sudden admission, "Yes, I was, but it's not like you're not thinking of someone else when you're with me..." Tsuzuki didn't know why he sounded so... jealous as he said the words. He knew that Muraki would understand what he was talking about. Isabelle must've told him about their little conversation. 

"Ah," Muraki sighed. "It's about that fiancée of mine, isn't it?" 

"So you're not denying it." Tsuzuki's voice was on the edge, "It is true then." 

Muraki smirked. "Are you half expecting that it was a lie? Ne, Tsuzuki-san, you're jealous?" 

Tsuzuki could feel his cheeks burning. No, of course not, what a joke it would be if he did feel jealous over the doctor's fiancée. He didn't even like him. In fact, he hated him. So why would he have to feel jealous? 

"No," Tsuzuki retorted, trying to be casual. "But you said that I can't think of someone else when I'm with you, when you're thinking of someone else yourself..." 

Muraki chuckled and leaned into his seat. "I'm not thinking of anyone else when I'm with you, Tsuzuki-san..." 

Tsuzuki saw the silver eye brighten, filled with something he could only describe as sincerity. There was no other word to call the soft expression on the doctor's face. 

"Mu..." His words stopped as Muraki put his fingers on his lips. It was that warmth again that caught him by surprise. How was it that someone that was supposed to be so cold, could be so warm? 

"Only you, Tsuzuki..." And before the shinigami could utter a word of denial, Muraki leaned his body forward, catching his chin in one hand and brushing his lips lightly over Tsuzuki's. 

Violet eyes snapped open, wanting to pull away but the next thing he knew Muraki had sat back into his seat and was grinning at him, licking his lips. "You taste adorably sweet, Tsuzuki." 

The shinigami was lost for words for a long minute, staring into Muraki's eyes. The good thing was that the restaurant had a private chamber for the two of them so no one was watching the kiss. He didn't know why he felt something lifted from his shoulders after what Muraki said to him. Relief... What the hell was he thinking? 

_Only you, Tsuzuki..._

He closed his eyes briefly. Ignoring Muraki who had started to light his cigarette, Tsuzuki took another spoonful of his cold ice cream, trying to ignore the burning sensation on his lips that left by the doctor's kiss.

-tbc-

Hi, sorry it took so long to update because my computer just crashed and I can't do anything for a few days. I think it's a karma thing... Besides all that, something happened and made me a little discourage to continue and finish writing this fic T__T I'm so sad... the part 5 will be out soon. I probably try to write something else after that, and see if I could bring my mood back... *turns into fetal ball* 


	5. Part 5

**Cold Flower   
by Kaz**

standard disclaimer applied  
warnings: Mu x Tsu, some angst, some lemon later (perhaps...)  
special thanks: Tiggy for beta effort and soooo... many other things!!

*~*~*~*

**Part 5**

Watari entered the room in time to see Hisoka leaning against the big window, looking out to the sakura garden. The young shinigami stood there for a long minute before closing his eyes briefly and sighing. Those green eyes look troubled, Watari observed. Perhaps he was thinking of... 

"Bon," Watari rushed to Hisoka's side, inclining his head towards the window, "what are you looking at?" 

The green-eyed boy just shook his head and went back to his bed in the other corner. "Nothing, Watari-san. Anou... Tsuzuki..." 

Watari wrinkled his brow, walking to the bed and tucking the boy in. "Yeah? What is it?" 

Hisoka sighed, curling onto his side. His eyes wandered over to the white wall. Watari couldn't really understand what he was thinking right now. He just stayed there by Hisoka's side, waiting for the young shinigami to continue. "He didn't come today," Hisoka finally said. 

The scientist was caught by surprise. "Oh, about that, Bon..." 

He swallowed hard. He didn't know what to say. Sure, he had told Tatsumi and Konoe kachou that Tsuzuki asked for a few days off, and because they understood how depressed Tsuzuki was after what happened to Hisoka, they had given their permission. But should he tell Hisoka too? What if he started to feel guilty about Tsuzuki then? He surely never thought about that before... 

"Anou... He's not here, because he had some days off from the office," Watari tried to answer as cheerfully as possible. But he couldn't fool Hisoka as the boy stared at him, assessing. 

"It's because of me, isn't it?!" Hisoka sat up on his bed, "There's no way that Tatsumi would give him time off unless it was really bad..." 

Smiling gently, Watari pushed the boy back to the mattress. "Shimpai shinaide, Bon... He's just a little depressed. He'll be okay!" He chuckled lightly, "...when he comes back, he probably won't remember a single thing about what happened!" Watari made a face. 

"Aa..." The boy tried to close his eyes, "...where did he go? Do you know that, Watari-san?" 

"Uhm--no, he wouldn't tell me..." Watari said in annoyance. "That man... always does what he thinks is right..." 

Hisoka smiled faintly, "Aa... I wonder what he's doing right now..." 

Watari just smiled instead of answering. 

*~*~* 

Tsuzuki tried to fix the tie on his collar one more time; it was a difficult task without a mirror. Pale fingers stopped him, startling him for a second before he realized that it was Muraki. The doctor helped him to fasten the tie, smiling gently at him as he did so. Tsuzuki turned his gaze away, not wanting to make eye contact. But not for long as a warm hand raised his chin and made him look up to see the taller man smiling at him solemnly. 

"You look so beautiful tonight, Tsuzuki." Muraki whispered thickly. 

The shinigami felt warm color in his cheeks and turned away, but once again Muraki's fingers stopped him. He only had a few seconds to realize what was happening next as Muraki leaned closer, and the next thing he knew his lips were pressed against Muraki's. 

He tried to struggle, squirming as he felt Muraki's tongue dart out to slip its way inside his mouth. But there was no way that he could break free with Muraki's arm around his back. He gasped in surprise and shame as he felt a jolt of pleasure building inside him as Muraki pressed their bodies together. He felt a bulge forming in the front of Muraki's pants, rubbing against him. 

"I guess we won't be staying long at the party Tsuzuki-san," Muraki breathed, his voice filled with desire. Tsuzuki knew that for sure as the hand behind his back started to draw circles in the small of his back, teasing him. "I can't wait to find out how you taste..." 

The shinigami bit his bottom lip hard as Muraki released his lips for just a brief second to plant kisses along his jaw. That sick feeling started to build inside him again, coiling into tight knots that almost choked him with disgust. Muraki's hands and mouth never stopped torturing him. 

Tsuzuki closed his eyes, not submitting but not knowing what else he could do, when suddenly Muraki released him. A triumphant smile crossed the doctor's pale face and he extended his hand towards Tsuzuki. "Come, Tsuzuki. We have a party to attend." 

Swallowing hard, Tsuzuki could only take the offered hand, walking beside the doctor as they made their way to the huge gates of the Matsuoka Family residence. The darkness of night covered both their figures as if welcoming them to the place where they belonged. 

The host greeted them with a big smile. No, Tsuzuki corrected, he welcomed Muraki with a pleasant expression. That made him wonder what kind of relationship the doctor had with the Matsuoka family, one of the richest families in Japan. Maybe Muraki had done some dirty work for them, just as he had for the Kakyouin group. But the lady of the house did treat him nicely, offering him dinner and some wine and that made him mellow a little inside. Somehow, he knew it was the wine. 

He had drunk too much of it tonight, he realized as his vision started to get blurry. And that lump in his throat threatened him with the hiccups at any time. Tsuzuki shook his head, trying to get rid of the ache inside his skull. He knew that he could do some embarrassing things when he was drunk and he definitely didn't want that to happen now. But it wasn't working. 

"Ne, Tsuzuki, did you enjoy yourself?" Muraki whispered in his ear, making the shinigami shiver lightly with his sudden appearance. And then his expression turned malicious. "You don't look too good... Want me to -- uhm, check you out? I _am_ a doctor, you know?" 

"S-Stop that...!" Tsuzuki hissed as he felt a hand creep across his behind, his face flushing even more because of the wine and now the embarrassment. Glaring at Muraki, he edged away just slightly, swallowing his wine to the last drop. "And I _am_ trying to enjoy myself...!" 

Muraki smirked, "Mm... Want to come out onto the balcony? We could see the moon from there..." he asked suggestively, pointing with his chin to a door that lead outside. 

The violet-eyed man thought about the invitation. He didn't feel very comfortable at the party because he barely know the people there. But spending time together with the mad doctor would be the last thing he wanted right now. Who knew what the doctor would do to him when they were completely alone. But then again, he had to spend his time with Muraki for the next five days. To be his completely. And that would mean anything was allowed... 

"Okay," Tsuzuki nodded, watching the doctor smile delightfully at the answer. He drank his next glass of wine and then took Muraki's hand. "Show me the way..." 

*~*~* 

Muraki realized that Tsuzuki had drunk too much for the night, and he didn't like that one bit. He thought that taking some time on the balcony could make the shinigami relax a little, maybe reduce his nervousness. Tsuzuki's hand felt so cold under his, slightly tense. It was probably the wine that caused it, Muraki thought dimly, or was it because of him? He'd never know... 

"Here we are, Tsuzuki-san. Don't you think that the moon is lovely?" 

Tsuzuki looked up to the sky with him, his eyes getting drowsier every second. "I guess so... I don't know..." 

"You drink too much," Muraki noted and took his place behind the shinigami, wrapping his arms around him and facing the moon. "This way you'll feel warmer, ne?" He smiled and planted ghostly kisses on the other's neck. 

He didn't feel any rejection from Tsuzuki this time; he just stood there, looking at the moon with his blurry eyes. A minute later he found Tsuzuki leaning back against him, sighing. But he also knew that it was probably because of the alcohol. This was not the Tsuzuki he wanted, it was pointless to continue. So he just stood there, holding the slender figure in his arms tightly, more to protect him from the cold than to take advantage. 

"I used to think that you were cold..." 

"Eh?" Muraki tilted his head as he heard the muffled words. He saw a faint smile on Tsuzuki's face, but his eyes looked so far away. He tightened his grip on the smaller man, hoping to hear his next words. "What did you say, Tsuzuki-san?" 

Tsuzuki untangled himself from Muraki, walking to the edge of the balcony. "I thought because you're so pale, that would make you cold..." He repeated, "...but," 

"But?" Muraki raised his eyebrows, trying to move closer to his violet-eyed shinigami. "Tsuzuki-san, don't stand there, it's dangerous..." 

Tsuzuki chuckled lightly, "What are you afraid of, Muraki? I am already dead, am I not?" 

The doctor growled and pulled the shinigami by the hand into his arms, feeling the other sobbing against his chest. "You're very much alive to me," he whispered soothingly. He didn't know why he said the words, but he didn't care. Somehow, inside his heart, he knew that those were the words that Tsuzuki wanted to hear, needed to hear. "Come on, let's go home..." 

He felt the small figure freeze inside his embrace, and then he nodded. Muraki guided the violet-eyed man back to the car and told him to wait while he said goodbye to the host. When he slid himself behind the wheel, he saw Tsuzuki curled up to one side, another trace of sadness on his beautiful face. He was so drunk, Muraki concluded. What a pity... The violet eyes weren't as bright as they were supposed to be. 

He stole another glance towards the shinigami and felt a sudden pang cross his heart. Funny, he'd thought that sentiment only belonged to weak humans, and now he felt it. He brushed the offending bangs from Tsuzuki's face; the violet eyes stared blankly out through the windshield. Muraki could only see the darkness there. 

"Let's go home now, Tsuzuki..." 

*~*~* 

Tsuzuki could feel the tears starting to stream down his face as he buried his face in Muraki's chest. He was doing it again, crying in front of his worst enemy; this time he didn't even know why. Hisoka was saved and everything turned out fine, except for himself. But he didn't regret his decision, back then or now. He was certain that he had done the right thing by taking the offer from Muraki, so what else was making him cry like this? 

Maybe because he never thought that the doctor could be so warm, and loving. Love? Ridiculous! Muraki didn't love anyone; he didn't know what love was! That's what he had said to that girl, Kakyouin Tsubaki on the Queen Camellia that time. And Tsuzuki was certain that Muraki's feelings towards him were merely lust, if he wasn't simply trying to drive him insane little by little. Maybe even before the fifth day. 

But he had a fiancée... 

Maybe he did love his fiancée after all. Maybe she was different. Maybe she was the only person a Muraki Kazutaka could really fall for. But if he really loved her, he wouldn't be doing this with him, would he? 

Tsuzuki was only half conscious as Muraki brought him back to his car, excusing himself to see the house owner before they left. He curled towards the window then, looking at some invisible object out there. His head hurt so much, but maybe it was best this away. This way he wouldn't remember what Muraki was going to do to him tonight. Muraki could do anything he wanted, and Tsuzuki couldn't care any less. The doctor had made it very clear what he wanted tonight before they attended the party, and Tsuzuki was more than sure that it would happen 

But it was just physical, right? If he didn't feel anything towards Muraki, it wouldn't mean anything, right? 

But the unknown terror kept shadowing his mind as Muraki returned to the car and drove back to their house. _Their_ house. He'd never had a real home but Meifuu... He didn't even have a place he considered his home when he was still alive; maybe that was part of the reason why he'd wanted to die. He had his friends in Meifuu, he had everything there... But Muraki had given him a house, here... on earth... A small home for the two of them. If they were really lovers, maybe he would consider that to be the most precious thing in this world. 

"Here we are, Tsuzuki." Muraki helped him to step out of the car; he almost stumbled on a small rock on the ground. Muraki smiled lightly and opened the door for him. "Go to the bedroom first, I'll park the car and lock the door," the doctor murmured before he disappeared through the door. 

Tsuzuki could hear Muraki start the car engine and drive it into their garage. The house here was so small, but they had everything. A garage, a back garden, a small bedroom... He tried to find his way there and once again almost bumped into the wall. He pushed the doorknob to the only bedroom in the house and stepped inside, almost immediately dropping his body to the bed. 

He hadn't touched the bed before, but now he knew that it felt so soft and warm, and faintly, he could smell the scent of roses. It was almost beautiful if he tried to forget whom he would be sharing the bed with. Was this really the right thing to do?! 

"Tsuzuki?" He heard Muraki's voice break the silence. The lights were turned on and Muraki stepped inside, still wearing his white jacket and glasses. In his drunken state, Tsuzuki could almost picture an angel entering his door. 

Strong hands helped him to take off his jacket, and then the tie, everything that the doctor had bought him earlier today. Tsuzuki could feel Muraki unbuckle his belt and he started to sob again. His vision was blurred and that sick feeling started to creep up his spine again. 

"Tsuzuki-san? Are you okay?" Muraki held him close in his arms, cradling him. "You want me to get you anything?" 

The shinigami lifted his face, staring into the silver depths before him and shook his head. "No, just... just get it over with..." 

Muraki pushed him to the bed, started to take off his shoes and socks. Tsuzuki curled onto his side, feeling the cold wrap around his body. Muraki stood up from the bed and walked to the wall near the bathroom, working on a panel there. The heater, Tsuzuki realized as the room started to fill with pleasant warmth. He watched Muraki walk back to the bed and sit beside him, looking down at him and caressing his forehead lightly. 

He leaned down for a kiss, and the shinigami squeezed his eyes shut, tears threatening to escape once again. He felt those warm lips touched to his forehead and then the blanket was pulled up to cover his body from the toe to his chin. 

"Oyasumi, Tsuzuki-san." 

Eh?! 

Tsuzuki's eyes snapped open, pitifully though with the headache he had because of the alcohol. He saw Muraki's expression soften as he leaned in for another kiss that was planted on the tip of Tsuzuki's nose. And then the doctor rose from the bed, turned the lights off and closed the bedroom door behind him. 

"Mu-Muraki?" Tsuzuki tried to call, but there was no one in the room but himself anymore. He stared blankly at the door where Muraki had left. He let several minutes pass and then tried to sit up in the bed, the blanket spilling to his lap as he did so. He tried to adjust his eyes to the darkness, finding it not so difficult at all. He saw his shoes and socks under the bed and his clothes already folded neatly near them. 

That strange rush of feelings washed through him again and he stood up, almost losing his balance as he felt the pain in his head again. He walked to the door, not knowing why he did. He wanted to see him, he wanted to know his reasons. Why Muraki, of all people, would do such a thing, so... kind? Tsuzuki couldn't decide, but his legs carried him there, to the door that separated him from Muraki. 

He turned the doorknob gently, trying not to make a noise pushing it open, and peeked outside. He looked out into the small living room. It was bright out there. Tsuzuki shielded his eyes against the sudden light. But the doctor wasn't there. Wait... 

Muraki was standing before the glass door that opened into the back garden. He had taken off his jacket, thrown it carelessly onto the sofa. He looked so distant, so different. With a cigarette on his lips, he was standing there looking for something Tsuzuki couldn't exactly figure out. He looked so lonely... 

Tsuzuki shook his head. He must've been really drunk to be thinking that way. Muraki didn't need anyone; he didn't care for anyone. So what was that loving expression he wore a few minutes ago when he tucked Tsuzuki into bed? What were those caring kisses that weren't the usual lustful ones, placed on his nose and forehead earlier? 

_Which one is the real you, Muraki Kazutaka?_

Maybe he was thinking about his fiancée... 

_You're just someone he wanted to have for five days, Asato..._

Almost abruptly, the shinigami closed the door, running back to his bed and curling back on his side. He wished he could just disappear into the darkness... 

-tbc-

Another fic banned by FFnet *sigh* it's that Heaven's Drive fic *sigh* well, it was my own fault anyway, heheh.. anyway--forgot to tell you that ABS made a fanart for that one for me, woohoo *hugs* Big thanks for ya, Anita!  
And of course, thanks to everybody who review this fic! Meow!!! =^.^= I'll be needing encouragement for writing part 6, heh... so, REVIEW!


	6. Part 6

**Cold Flower  
by Kaz **

* * * * *

standard disclaimer applied  
SPECIAL WARNINGS: slight NON-CON situation in this part, unresolved sexual tension, the rating is PG-15..!!!  
and for you who might not notice this before, this is a Muraki x Tsuzuki fic...!!  
special thanks to Tiggy for beta chores

* * * * *

**Part 6**

Tsuzuki woke up with a terrible headache and winced at the bright light shining through the open window. Muraki must have opened it this morning, he thought vaguely. He glanced at the clock on the wall, realizing that it was already late for breakfast, but he couldn't ignore his stomach growling for food. He pushed the blanket off him and climbed out of bed, hoping that he'd be able to make it to the bathroom because he didn't want to throw up on the carpet. Muraki probably wouldn't like the cream-colored rug to be stained with his vomit. 

The bathroom was in one corner of the bedroom, just on the other side of the window. Tsuzuki slowly made his way there, reaching for the doorknob gently and almost falling backwards as someone opened the door from the inside. He gaped, staring at Muraki, who just stepped out of the bathroom with only a white towel around his waist. His silver hair was wet, water dripping onto his pale, handsome face. 

"Ohayou,Tsuzuki-san!" Muraki said cheerfully, smiling as if he wasn't standing almost naked by the bathroom door. "I thought you were still in bed... I just woke up myself." 

Shaking his head, Tsuzuki tried to get rid of his embarrassment over the pale doctor. Funny, Muraki was the one who should be embarrassed by dressing so... inappropriately in front of him; but instead it was _his_ face that started to warm with color. 

"Uhm, yeah. Sorry about last night, I..." Tsuzuki could feel his throat giving up on him; he needed to throw up, his head felt so dizzy. He tried to get a hold on the door, so he wouldn't fall to the floor. Muraki seemed to notice that and helped him to stay upright, but the position meant his body was flush against Tsuzuki's. The colors on the shinigami's face deepened even further. 

"N-Need... to throw... up." Tsuzuki lifted his face to see Muraki's smiling at him. "Would you mind..." He didn't have the chance to finish the sentence as the sick feeling in his throat started to take control once again. But the next thing he knew, Muraki had guided him to the toilet. 

It was damn embarrassing; Tsuzuki cursed himself as he vomited, throwing up all the food he'd eaten the night before into the toilet. The most embarrassing part was Muraki massaging the back of his neck as he threw up, while the doctor's other hand held him so he wouldn't overbalance. 

"Better?" Muraki asked him as he stood up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "You know, you shouldn't drink so much, Tsuzuki-san..." Muraki grabbed some toilet paper and helped the violet-eyed man to clean his mouth. 

"I'll try to remember that." The shinigami took the paper from Muraki's hand and started to clean himself. "...I'd better take a bath now... and..." He thought about having breakfast, but didn't know how to tell the doctor that he was hungry. 

"I'll prepare breakfast then." Muraki smiled as he spoke, making the shinigami redden with embarrassment once again. But this time all he had to blame was his appetite for food. "Unless you want me to help you by scrubbing your back." 

"I think I'm able to do that myself!" Tsuzuki hissed in annoyance. "I want some privacy for my bath now if you don't mind..." 

Muraki chuckled softly. "Alright then; you don't know what you're missing, Tsuzuki-san." He turned his back on the shinigami and closed the door behind him as he left. 

Tsuzuki dashed to the door and locked it. Who knew that the doctor wouldn't change his mind and decide to help him scrub his back, or something even worse? He sighed gladly when he was finally alone in the bathroom, studying the luxurious place for a minute or two. The bathroom was small, but it had a tub as well as a shower. Tsuzuki decided that it wouldn't hurt to take a nice warm bath in the tub. He started to fill his bath and stripped off his clothes. The water didn't seem to fill quickly enough, so he decided to brush his teeth while he waited. Muraki had left him a new toothbrush on the shelf near the mirror. When Tsuzuki had finished brushing his teeth, the water was nearly full to the brim. 

The violet-eyed shinigami slid into the warm water, carefully not letting the water spill onto the bathroom floor. For a moment he didn't want to think about anything in this world. He ought to forget everything he was going through, not care what would happen to him today, or tomorrow, or the next four days. He'd made it through the first day; how much worse could the next few days be? 

But even as his heart told him to stay calm, he knew that Muraki Kazutaka might have another plan for him. The doctor once said that the wait raised the anticipation; what if everything that _didn't_ happen the first day was a sign of something unpleasant to come in the next days...? Tsuzuki didn't want to think about it too much, but he knew that he needed to prepare for the worst. Besides, Hisoka was safe now, and he had nothing to worry about. Maybe he could even ask for some time to visit the boy tonight, or maybe tomorrow. There was only a small chance Muraki would grant his wish, but there was nothing wrong with trying. Besides, the Muraki he saw last night was different... 

Muraki... 

"Geh!" Tsuzuki immersed his head in the water and then shook it hard. He felt that pain again inside his head as he rose and leaned back against the tub, but his mind was clear again. How could it be possible for him to think that Muraki was... nice! He must really have had too much drink last night to think such foolish things. If Muraki became a saint, that would be the end of the world. 

* * * * *

Tsuzuki spent twenty minutes in the tub and the last ten minutes taking a hot shower. By the time he emerged from the bathroom, his face had turned a bright shade of pink. He stepped out of the bathroom wearing only a bathrobe that Muraki had left for him. Tsuzuki didn't realize that he wasn't alone in the room until his feet touched the thick fabric of the carpet and he lifted his head towards the bed. 

Muraki sat on one side of the bed, his hands crossed on his chest, smirking dangerously. The doctor wore an identical bathrobe to his own, but the belt was slightly loosened. The violet-eyed shinigami swallowed hard, biting his bottom lip. Muraki couldn't be... he couldn't possibly want... 

As Muraki started to rise from the bed, Tsuzuki's feet instinctively stepped back. His eyes must have reflected his fear because Muraki smiled at him and whispered, "Everything will be okay, Tsuzuki-san," and that familiar, wicked smile crossed the doctor's face again. "Don't be scared of me..." 

But he couldn't stop feeling fear when Muraki kept moving towards him, his eyes predatory. The next thing he knew, Tsuzuki was pinned between the taller man's body and the wall. He gasped in surprise as his back pressed against the cold wall, realizing there was nowhere to run. 

"Tsuzuki..." The voice was heavy with desire and Tsuzuki could feel his knees turn to water with the strange rush of fear in his heart. Muraki's silver eye stared deeply into his; this time it wasn't hidden behind the glasses. One of Muraki's hands found his wrist and held him still against the wall, while the other sneaked around his waist, playing with the belt of his bathrobe. 

"We wasted our time yesterday, Tsuzuki-san..." Muraki leaned closer, nuzzling the smooth neck, and breathed softly below the shinigami's earlobe. Tsuzuki closed his eyes as he felt a slick tongue start to lick his skin, followed by a gently nip. "Today I'll make sure I get what I've always wanted..." 

Tsuzuki's cry was caught inside his throat. He had thought that he was okay, that the nausea of the alcohol had gone after the warm bath. So what was this loathing he felt inside his stomach right now?! 

He felt Muraki plant wet kisses all over his neck; his hand pulled open the collar of Tsuzuki's robe to reveal his skin, and then that mouth started to suck on it greedily. The shinigami bit his bottom lip hard, until Muraki's fingers stopped him. His eyes met Muraki's and he saw a faint smile. 

"Don't hurt yourself, Tsuzuki," Muraki breathed, before capturing his lips in a searing kiss. "Give yourself to me willingly... And I'll show you something you've never imagined..." 

Tsuzuki felt a warm hand slip inside his bathrobe, stroking his chest and down to his stomach. Muraki's mouth and tongue had moved to his throat, working on his skin. He felt his robe being tugged at by a calloused hand, and he was now standing half naked against the wall. 

But no matter how much he felt like crying, he couldn't. He'd known that this was going to happen sooner or later, and he should've been prepared for it. Wasn't he ready to give in to Muraki last night? Hadn't he cried as he thought the doctor would take him when he was drunk? So why couldn't those tears come now and wash away all his disgust at himself?! 

He felt fingers start to loosen his belt and the next second he found himself standing completely naked in front of Muraki. The doctor licked his lips. "Beautiful... I always knew you were beautiful, Tsuzuki-san..." 

Tsuzuki looked away, trying to ignore Muraki's eyes roaming all over his body. Ghostly fingers trailed along his torso, studying him inch by inch. Another pang rose inside his heart and Tsuzuki felt disappointment. 

Disappointment? Of what? 

And then he remembered that man who'd stood alone in the darkness in front of the thick glass door. It was someone else, Tsuzuki realized. There was no way that this Muraki was the same person he'd seen last night. He'd thought that inside the doctor's cold heart he still had some feeling that made him human. Oh, how wrong he was... How could he possibly think that Muraki was the way he was now because he was lonely?! That there was a small chance for him to become sane again and stop killing innocent people?! 

With that thought inside his head, Tsuzuki finally felt the wet traces on his cheeks. He was crying, and it was because of that bastard... 

"Don't cry, Tsuzuki-san..." Muraki licked those tears away with the tip of his tongue, and then kissed the corner of the shinigami's lips sweetly. "Please don't cry..." 

"How can you..." Tsuzuki hissed as Muraki stroked his side in a sensual gesture, "...how can you possibly say that when you're hurting me...!" 

Muraki smirked and leaned closer to plant yet another kiss on the shinigami's mouth. "Hurting you? How can you say that when your body's enjoying it?" 

Tsuzuki's eyes widened in surprise. He hadn't really expected those words from the doctor. But he knew that Muraki was right; part of him had awakened at the sensual dances Muraki's hands and mouth had performed. He couldn't say anything to defend himself, for he knew that words were useless. Muraki had found the definite proof of his desire and would use it against him. 

"Ne, Tsuzuki-san... This doesn't feel so bad, does it?" Muraki chuckled as he wrapped his fingers around Tsuzuki's length. Tsuzuki hissed, but he had to admit that part of him almost begged for it. "I dare say that you enjoy it as much as I do..." Another evil laugh echoed inside the room as his arousal throbbed against the doctor's palm. 

"Why--?!" Tsuzuki couldn't control his voice anymore; it sounded so different now. Weak, hoarse, and at the same time, filled with need. "Why are you doing this...?!" 

Muraki caressed the bangs that covered Tsuzuki's eyes and kissed the tip of his nose. Leaning closer, he caught the shinigami's lips in another kiss, this time more passionate. Tsuzuki felt the doctor's tongue sneak inside his mouth and he let him roam inside, while the warm hand never stopped torturing his erection. The tongue moved to his throat, tracing circular patterns, marking every inch of the shinigami's skin. Tsuzuki wasn't going to submit, but he couldn't deny the doctor's desire because of their agreement. 

Yes, that was it... It all started with the agreement between them. As he looked back to the past, Tsuzuki found that strength again inside him. He was doing this for Hisoka; no regret could come from this. This torture of him was nothing compared to what Hisoka had been through in his nightmare. A nightmare that could've drowned him forever in the darkness. But with this agreement he had saved Hisoka's life. And nothing was more important to him than to see that green-eyed boy again; to see his eyes glare at him again on their next mission. To see that rare smile cross his lips again... 

Hisoka... 

And suddenly Muraki's lips left him and the hand stopped moving. His body was pushed away by the doctor the second after that. Confused and flushed, Tsuzuki leaned back, using his palms to support himself from sagging to the floor. His eyes searched for Muraki's hesitantly and he saw anger in the cold silver eye. 

"M-Muraki..?!" He didn't even know why he was stuttering. His mouth felt dry and his heart quickened every second, frightened. He didn't know what had made Muraki act like that. What had he done?! 

The doctor's eyes moved from his face to the bathrobe on the floor. He bent and took it with one hand, and abruptly threw the white fabric into Tsuzuki's hands. Without saying a single word, he walked to the small table near the bed and picked up his cigarettes, lighting one. 

Tsuzuki still held the bathrobe in his hands, unsure why Muraki had given it back to him after all his attempts to take the thing off. His hands started to tremble as he raised his head, seeking explanation in the silver-haired man's expression. Why was had started to feel so strange?! Why had he started to feel... guilty?! Guilty...?! 

He remembered the last time he felt like this; Oh God... when Muraki wore the same expression as he had now. It wasn't anger, the shinigami recalled. It was disappointment. It was the same look Muraki gave him when he started to think about Hisoka. 

And a few minutes ago... 

"I..." Tsuzuki didn't understand why he even bothered trying to explain. Muraki wasn't anyone important to him. He was a murderer, no more than that! "I..." 

_Asato, what are you thinking?!_

"It's not my fault if I started to think about him, okay?!" Tsuzuki blurted out, didn't know where the courage to say it came from. Muraki still didn't change his expression; white smoke wisped around his face. "Y-You're the one who started it..." 

The sound of the phone ringing in the living room could be heard from inside the small bedroom, and Muraki started to walk to the door. He stopped for a second in the threshold, not looking back. "You called his name." 

"W-What?" Tsuzuki was stunned, face turning pale. 

"You called his name." Muraki turned his face and stared deeply into Tsuzuki's violet eyes, "That's what happened, Tsuzuki-san..." 

A deafening silence surrounded the shinigami as he stood in the middle of the bedroom, his hands still clutching the white bathrobe. He could hear Muraki talking to someone on the telephone, but his voice seemed so far away. In fact, everything felt so wrong right now. He didn't know where he stood anymore; had he lost his ground?! 

As he started to collect himself and put the bathrobe back on, the door opened and Muraki stepped inside. Smoking his cigarette, he stared at the shinigami briefly before saying, "We're going to have lunch with Matsuoka. Wear something appropriate." 

And then he disappeared into the bathroom.

* * * * *

Everything was perfect... 

It was the first thought inside Muraki's head as he finally caught the beautiful shinigami in his arms. Everything about him was beautiful, every inch of him was perfection; from the beautiful amethyst eyes that were more beautiful than any gems in the world, to the fragile heart inside. 

He knew that he had to go easy the first time. He didn't want to scare the shinigami away, although he had so many plans inside his head concerning Tsuzuki. But then again, they still had four days left before them. He may not have ruined his plans to have the shinigami, to finally reach the deepest part of him and have him completely. 

Until he murmured that name... 

Muraki still couldn't believe he was feeling this... mad? Disappointed?! Humiliated?! How could Tsuzuki possibly call someone else's name when he was with him?! How could Tsuzuki call that boy's name when he was kissing him?! 

_Is it him you imagine kissing you, Tsuzuki-san?! Is it him you've wanted all this time?! Is that why you're making this trade with me?!_

Faintly disgusted at his own thoughts, Muraki closed the door behind him as he reached for the phone. A female voice was on the end of the line. "Mayuko?!" He was half-surprised. Mayuko was the wife of Matsuoka Kenji, the man who had his birthday celebration last night, and not a person Muraki thought would've called him today. 

"Muraki-san, I hope I haven't called at a bad time," Mayuko said quietly. Muraki could only smirk at the words. Well, she might have disturbed him if the shinigami hadn't been too busy thinking of his partner. 

"No, no, Mayuko-san, certainly not, Is there anything I can do to help you?" 

The woman hesitated for a long moment before continuing. "Well, I heard that you'll be staying in town for five days. So Kenji and I would like to invite you for lunch today." 

Muraki peered at the clock; it was almost eleven now. He hadn't realized how quickly time had flown. He'd been planning to spend the day with Tsuzuki, but after what had happened between them just now he knew that everything would end up awkward and wrong. Maybe this lunch offer was something he should consider. 

"You can bring your friend with you, Muraki-san." Mayuko said as if reading his mind. "He didn't look too good last night. I hope he's feeling better already..." 

Muraki smiled. "Oh yes, he's better now, not to worry, Mayuko. And certainly, it will be a pleasure for me and Tsuzuki to have lunch with you and Matsuoka." 

"That will be splendid, I'll tell Kenji right away." 

"Thank you for the offer," Muraki said, before putting the handset back. Funny, Mayuko had sounded rather strange on the phone. Maybe there was some reason why they were inviting him to lunch?! 

Not wanting to wait any longer, the doctor walked back into the bedroom. He saw the shinigami had put his bathrobe back on, was now busy fixing the belt. The beautiful face was still as pale as a doll's; the one that reminded him of his antique collection. Such a shame... He could be such a beautiful part of his collection... And that feeling of rage started to creep up inside his heart again. 

"We're going to have lunch with Matsuoka. Wear something appropriate," he said shortly before walking to the bathroom. He didn't even stay to hear what the shinigami might say in reply. Maybe he just didn't care. 

_Are you falling in love with him, Tsuzuki-san?!_

_Love... is an illusion..._

-tbc- 

Omake:   
Yes, _oyasumi_ means 'good night, sleep well...' (sorta like that, I think... *frowns* yeah...); _ohayou_ means 'good morning'.  
to Kadzuki: I'll be honored, I don't think that you'd need my permission though ^^;;; and oh, how's Jubei doing? *eep*

Review this fic now, thanx :)


	7. Part 7

-- CENSORED ED. The uncensored ed is at my site or the MuxTsu ML, for more info check out the author's notes at the bottom, ok?!  
standard disclaimer applied.  
BIG thanks to Tiggy Malvern for super-dope beta skills and patience. Arigatou nya! *glomps*

* * * * *

**Cold Flower  
Part 7**

Tsuzuki tightened the belt of his dark coat as they stepped out of the house. The wind was cold today, and he couldn't wait to slide into the passenger seat. It was almost mid afternoon and he remembered that he hadn't even eaten breakfast yet. But somehow he didn't feel hungry any more; that was something that rarely happened.

Muraki didn't say anything about what had happened between them in the bedroom. He didn't even make any comments about the clothes Tsuzuki had chosen for the lunch, unlike the other night when they went to the birthday party. Somehow, the situation felt like it was killing him.

When they finally got inside the car, Muraki turned on the radio to listen the news. Again, Tsuzuki felt that feeling of loneliness creeping up inside him; as if Muraki was drowning himself inside his own world and leaving him behind. And why did he feel like he was the bad guy in this game? That was supposed to be Muraki's role. And now, because he called Hisoka's name when they were kissing -- correction, Muraki was the one who kissed him -- he was being treated like he was the one to blame.

But if Muraki thought he was going to apologize for it, well, he was so damn wrong! 

Tsuzuki leaned back in his seat and started to close his eyes. If Muraki had his own life, so did he, and he wasn't going to let Muraki intimidate him. So why the hell was he feeling so shitty?

"Tsuzuki-san, here we are."

Tsuzuki opened his eyes surprised at his own relief that Muraki had started talking to him again. What the hell was he thinking?!

The car was parked in front of a big house, bounded by wall; funny how he hadn't noticed the wall last night when they came to the party. There were too many things on his mind last night perhaps; or maybe he just didn't care...

Muraki stepped out of the car and he followed. A woman was waiting for them by the front door; it looked like she was a servant in the house. She bowed politely and opened the door for the two of them.

"Kenji-sama and Mayuko-sama are waiting for you in the tea room, sensei." The servant smiled politely; she seemed pretty familiar with Muraki and once again Tsuzuki found himself trying to guess what Muraki's business with the family was. He knew that Muraki knew some important people in Japan, but he was still curious about his dealings with the Matsuoka family.

But the doctor just smiled at her and turned back to Tsuzuki who was still standing by the door with an assessing look on his face. 

"Tsuzuki-san? Are you going to wait there all day?" he asked incredulously and then smiled at him; his hand reached out for Tsuzuki to hold. The shinigami slapped the hand away and walked beside the silver-haired man to the so called tea-room.

"Muraki." A man stood up from the sofa as they entered the room, smiled politely at the doctor and then turned to Tsuzuki, "...and nice to see you again, Tsuzuki-san."

Tsuzuki just nodded; the truth was he didn't even remember this man named Matsuoka Kenji from last night. Muraki must have introduced them at the party, but his mind wasn't exactly in place yesterday. 

A woman appeared from another door, smiling warmly at Tsuzuki. "Ah, Muraki-san! You've brought Tsuzuki-san with you." She walked straight to Tsuzuki. "Are you feeling any better, Tsuzuki-san? You didn't look too good last night. I was worried when Muraki said that you were ill so you had to go home early..."

"I'm fine, thank you for your concern..." Tsuzuki smiled back. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he did vaguely remember this woman, the lady of the house who had treated him so kindly last night. 

The woman seemed delighted by the answer. Tsuzuki turned to see Muraki and found the doctor smiling at him, "Tsuzuki is much better this morning, am I right, Tsuzuki-san?"

The violet-eyed man was taken aback, but only nodded for an answer. The next thing he knew the woman took him by the arm and guided him to the next room. "You must be hungry, Tsuzuki. Let's have lunch now, that's why we are here in the first place." She chuckled lightly; Tsuzuki wondered if the woman could read his mind.

The lunch went smoothly and no one, except Muraki, seemed to notice that he ate a double portion of the dessert. His appetite was back, which was a good start. Afterwards, Muraki engaged in a conversation with Matsuoka Kenji while Tsuzuki decided to follow Mayuko to her antique collection room. For some reason, he didn't want to go near the doctor for a while.

"Tsuzuki-san, I hear that you're staying at Muraki-san's place for a few days. Are you a good friend of his?" Mayuko started as they entered the room, "...I was wondering why he doesn't come here with Ukyou-san."

"Eh?" Tsuzuki was startled and then remembered. Ukyou must be the name of Muraki's fiancée. The Matsuokas were good friends of Muraki's, so it wouldn't be a surprise if Mayuko knew about Muraki's relationship. "I don't know either," he decided to answer.

Mayuko smiled. "You must be so special, ne?" she sighed and then turned to face him. "I don't really know about her either. Did you know that their engagement was arranged by the families?"

Tsuzuki didn't know and didn't want to know; he didn't even understand why he was having this conversation with Matsuoka Mayuko. Did she think that he had some kind of intimate relationship with Muraki?

"I didn't know that..." Tsuzuki only shrugged and then followed her to the nearest shelf in the room. He saw porcelain dolls lined up on the glass shelf; all of them dressed in luxurious dresses, either western style or Japanese traditional wardrobe. "These are beautiful."

The woman tilted her head slightly, eyeing one of the dolls on the shelf. "Muraki-san was the one who made me interested in antique dolls. And he didn't even know it," she chuckled. "Did you ever have the chance to see Muraki's collection back in Tokyo?"

"No," the shinigami answered; he was astounded himself by what Mayuko had said.

"When I was still a little girl, my father took me to the Muraki family house. And then I met Muraki Kazutaka for the first time." She smiled slightly. "He didn't say anything to me though, just stood there with a doll in his arms, looking really... strange."

Tsuzuki lifted one eyebrow but didn't say a word, letting the woman to continue. "I learned that he had this collection of porcelain dolls, all of them are beautiful. I was amazed by each of them, and as soon as I reached home, I begged my father to buy me one." She giggled and took one doll from the shelf, showing it to Tsuzuki. "This one is almost identical to the one I saw Muraki-san holding that day; this one is my favorite."

The violet-eyed man just stared incredulously at the doll's face. He'd never really been interested in dolls; sometimes they even scared him. The doll in his hands had long blonde hair, was dressed in a beautiful gown, and had a pair of blue eyes. And somehow, she looked kind of sad.

"She was the first in my collection," Mayuko said. "My mother never really like the idea of me collecting these dolls. She said that it would made me look like I was lonely, just like Muraki."

The shinigami froze at the words, lifting his head to see Mayuko's eyes filled with remorse. "What do you mean?"

"Like I said before, I don't really know Muraki... But I've always known that he was lonely. His father was always busy with work, and his mother was rather strange, at least that's what my mother had told me." She shrugged and looked away. "I went to France afterwards, and when I got back here, everything had changed. I heard that all his family had died, and that he had became a doctor. No surprise there, because all the men in his family were doctors."

Tsuzuki bit his bottom lip as he stared at the doll's eyes; the color of blue filled his vision. He wondered what Mayuko and Muraki saw in those marble eyes. So, Muraki was indeed lonely, at least he used to be. It was quite scary for him to drown this much in the doctor's life, just from a simple conversation with a woman he barely knew. So was the Muraki he saw last night the same man Mayuko had told him about just now? The lonely little Muraki Kazutaka who held the doll in his arms?

"Mayuko."

Tsuzuki turned his head to the door and saw a man standing there. He was tall with dark eyes, and would be considered handsome enough by most girls. He was probably in his early thirties and somehow reminded him of Muraki. Frowning slightly, Tsuzuki knew that he didn't like this man.

Mayuko seemed to recognize the stranger dressed in an extravagant suit. "Shuji," She smiled at the man and gave him a hug, turning to Tsuzuki afterwards. "Tsuzuki-san, this is my brother in law, Makishima Shuji. He just got here this morning..."

The man called Shuji smiled unpleasantly at Tsuzuki. "Nice to meet you, Tsuzuki..." He caught Tsuzuki's hand and shook it rather too long.

The shinigami pulled his hand away after a long minute. "Nice to meet you too," he said with a dry smile, knowing that it was a pure lie. He didn't like the way the man was staring at him, studying every inch of his body with his eyes.

"If I'd known you were coming to lunch, I'd have spent more time at home instead of taking a walk around town," Shuji said to the violet-eyed man with a low tone that Tsuzuki found rather annoying.

"Now, now, Shuji..." Mayuko stepped between the two. "Tsuzuki came with Muraki-sensei; I'm sure you've met him with Kenji outside, ne?"

Tsuzuki noticed the lady emphasized the word 'with' as she spoke, and guessed what she was really trying to hint to her brother in law. Shuji smiled, nodding as he did so and took a step back, away from Tsuzuki. "Oh yes, I've met Muraki. He's alone now, though. Kenji received a phone call."

"Ah!" Mayuko gasped. "I should see Muraki now then. Mm, it won't do to leave a guest alone."

Tsuzuki didn't want to see Muraki just yet, but neither did he want to be left alone with Shuji. He stepped forward to follow Mayuko towards the door, but stopped when Shuji suddenly stepped in front of him. The shinigami looked up and smiled slightly. "Uhm, I have to go..."

"Don't worry, Tsuzuki-san. I'll accompany you, ne?"

"Eh, Mayuko-san." Tsuzuki didn't want to sound too panicked as he called after his host, but apparently she didn't hear him and disappeared through the door. "Excuse me, I have to see Muraki." It was the only thing he could think of to get away from this situation. But the man standing before him didn't move even an inch. 

Tsuzuki walked around the man, but Shuji's hand stopped him, grabbing him by the arm. "Now, Tsuzuki-san. You're not _afraid_ of me, right?"

"Let me go." Tsuzuki glared at his captor, trying to sound convincing with his threat. But he knew that it was useless.

* * * * *

Muraki eyed the door where his host had disappeared. Matsuoka seemed to be engaged in a long conversation on the phone; and from the looks of it, he could tell that it was probably a secret matter. Matsuoka had closed the door as soon as he took the call, and hadn't come out since. The doctor sighed, thinking to find his shinigami and take him home instead of wasting his time in the Matsuoka residence. There was nothing to do here after the lunch anyway, although he would like to speak to Mayuko and find out what the woman had been so concerned about. He still couldn't forget how she'd sounded on the phone that morning. She needed something from him, and it was something important.

"Muraki-san."

Muraki turned his head in the direction the voice had came from and saw Mayuko jogging towards him, a pale expression on her face. "I need to talk to you..."

Muraki smiled; he had guessed right. It was Mayuko who had invited him and Tsuzuki here instead of Matsuoka Kenji. "Of course, Mayuko-san. I'll be glad to hear your problem..."

The woman smiled bittersweetly, "Can you come with me to the balcony..."

He nodded and followed her outside; Mayuko closed the glass door behind them as soon as they were alone. Her face looked rather nervous as she turned her face to Muraki. "It's about Kenji..."

The doctor frowned on hearing the name, "Yes?"

"I think... I think..." Mayuko stuttered, her hands trembling as she reached the edge of the balcony, "I think he's trying to kill me."

Muraki's brow furrowed. He tipped his glasses gently, trying to understand the whole story. "And why do you think that, Mayuko-san?"

"I... I heard him talking on the phone... before the birthday party... I think… I think he's asking someone to kill me..." She finished the words with tears, biting her bottom lip. "I don't know what to do..."

To tell the truth, he wasn't so surprised to hear it. The motive was clear enough. It was an old rumor that Matsuoka Kenji had married the woman for her money; and it seemed now he had all he wanted, he was going to get rid of the woman. He just hadn't expected him to ask someone to kill her. Mayuko was deadly in love with him; she would probably give him everything he wanted. 

Although he couldn't stop thinking how careless it was for Matsuoka to let his wife overhear the conversation.

"But that's not the only reason why, Muraki-san..." Mayuko said again between her tears. "I know that... he has another woman... it's been almost two years since they got together... and still..."

"Mayuko-san..." Muraki touched the woman on the shoulder. "Have you tried to talk about this to anyone else? About the woman, I mean..."

She shook her head, "I can't. I... I can't trust anyone... anyone but you... He might leave me if he knew... We've been married for so long but we still haven't had children. He might have used that as the excuse to leave me... But now... he wants to kill me... I..."

Muraki nodded, releasing the woman and stood beside her. "You want me to help you?"

"The woman came to this town yesterday," Mayuko said suddenly, not exactly answering. "Kenji left the house after all the guests went home, to see her. I followed him... and I saw them..." She began to cry again and Muraki handed her his handkerchief.

"And the person he contacted to uhm-- kill you..." Muraki tilted his head. "Do you know who that person is, then..."

"No, but I can guess... Muraki..." Mayuko turned to him once again and clutched his arms. "You can do something, right? You can help me. I know you can, that's why I... I..."

Muraki smiled and let her go, "We'll see about that, Mayuko-san." He turned back and opened the glass door, stepping into the room with Mayuko following behind. "I have to go home now. Can you tell me where Tsuzuki is?"

"Oh," Mayuko was startled, looking like she'd only just remembered the other man. "I left him in the collection room with Shuji!"

The doctor's eyebrows shot up. "Makishima Shuji?" He growled and almost hurriedly walked to the collection room.

* * * * *

"Why are you avoiding me, Tsuzuki?" Shuji followed the shinigami as he walked to the glass cabinet, putting aside the doll in his hand. "I've told you, you don't have to be scared..."

Tsuzuki shot him a glare, not trying to hide his dislike for the other. "I'm sorry, Makishima-san..."

"Shuji," the man corrected, reaching for Tsuzuki's hand and squeezing it gently. "You can call me Shuji."

The shinigami hissed as he pulled away his hand. "I really have to go now, if you don't mind, I--"

"I do mind," Shuji stopped Tsuzuki's retreat and caught his wrist, spun him until their faces were merely inches apart. Tsuzuki was having déjà vu -- not a good one -- in that position and tried to struggle free from the other's arms. But Shuji was stronger than he had thought. All his efforts to get away were futile, and he started to feel the man's hand roaming his back. Something he didn't like at all.

"Let me go!" Tsuzuki said harshly. "What do you think you're doing?!"

The man chuckled lightly, squeezing him more tightly. "Are you playing hard to get now, Tsuzuki-san...?! I know that you're one of Muraki's toys, aren't you?! Don't worry... I can be better than he is... You won't be disappointed..."

By that point, the shinigami was really angry. He elbowed the other man hard and saw Shuji wince slightly, before grabbing him back more possessively. "So you like to play rough, do you? Is that how Muraki treated you, hmm? I can do that too... or do you want me to take you slowly, hmm?"

Tsuzuki's eyes shifted; he braced his feet hard but he couldn't do more than that. Both his wrists were locked in a tight grip, and he didn't like the feeling of the hand starting to slide under his jacket now. Should he scream for help? Or even better, maybe he could use his fuda instead...

But the door opened before he had the chance to do anything. Shuji released him almost reluctantly and Tsuzuki took a few steps back, not wanting the man to be near him ever again. He felt glad that he'd been rescued, but not for long once he saw that it was Muraki who had stepped into the room.

The doctor smiled at him; his visible eye narrowed slightly as he studied the shinigami's rumpled clothes. And then he turned his face to Shuji, who looked rather disappointed at his arrival. 

"I hope he didn't do anything improper to you, Tsuzuki-san." Muraki's voice flat and low.

Tsuzuki smoothed his clothes but didn't answer the question. Shuji glared at the doctor and said mockingly, "Why are you so mad, Muraki? It's not like he's so special. Why don't you let an old friend have some fun, ne?"

"I must warn you, Makishima-san." Muraki smiled dangerously; his eyes brightened with something Tsuzuki didn't like at all. "He is _mine_ and you are _not_ my friend. Now, Tsuzuki-san..." He walked closer to Tsuzuki and stretched his hand towards the shinigami, smiling warmly, "...let's go home, ne? We've wasted our time here..."

Hesitantly, Tsuzuki took the hand. Only this one time, he made a note to himself, and followed the doctor's steps. As they walked past Makishima Shuji, Tsuzuki was certain that he heard the doctor whisper to the man with a warning tone in his low voice, 

"If you ever touch him again, I'll kill you."

And Tsuzuki knew that Muraki wasn't just joking around.

* * * * *

"I am not yours," Tsuzuki said as soon as they walked out of the room, slapping Muraki's hand away. The doctor only chortled at the statement, taking Tsuzuki's hand in his once again. "So would you prefer to be Makishima's instead?"

The shinigami snorted. "You know that is not what I'm talking about."

"Ah, no one can escape your charm, Tsuzuki-san," Muraki commented, lacing their fingers together. "I guess I'll consider myself lucky then, ne?"

They stopped in the living room and Tsuzuki felt the doctor let go of his hand. He looked up and saw the lady of the house waiting for them there. She smiled at him and then stared meaningfully at Muraki. 

"Are you leaving already?" She sounded a little disappointed; her eyes looked as if she'd been crying.

Muraki smiled. "It was nice to be invited here today, Mayuko. But it's getting late now, and we really have to get back."

"Thank you for coming," Mayuko said again and then added, "...and thank you for everything."

Tsuzuki shook the woman's hand and followed Muraki to the door, still turning his head in the woman's direction. He thought he saw tears flowing down the woman's cheeks as they left the door. So he was right, Mayuko had been crying. But all those thoughts left him as he saw Shuji join her at the door to say goodbye to them. Tsuzuki turned his head and never looked back.

* * * * *

It was starting to drizzle as they reached the car and Tsuzuki hastily slid inside. Muraki followed him and turned on the engine. As they left the drive of the Matsuoka house, the rain started to come down harder. They were caught in traffic afterwards for almost an hour because of a car accident. Muraki said that it was probably because of the sudden rain that drivers became careless, but truthfully, Tsuzuki wasn't sure if the doctor really cared.

"Home at last..." Muraki sighed heavily as they finally reached the small house. The sky was almost dark and the weather had turned cold once again. The rain hadn't stopped, but they were lucky to have the garage so they didn't get soaked.

Tsuzuki shrugged off his jacket once he was inside the house, flopping himself onto the sofa in the living room. He could see the rain still falling heavily beyond the glass door; the backyard looked so beautiful that way, almost like a small paradise. But he knew that he was far from Eden.

"I'd better take a hot shower." Muraki stepped into the house after he locked the car away. Shrugging off his white coat, he threw the car keys onto the table in front of Tsuzuki. "You should too, Tsuzuki-san. Even shinigami can catch the flu, I think..."

The shinigami didn't have the chance to answer, as the doctor went to the bedroom and left him alone again. Well, maybe it was a good thing, Tsuzuki said to himself dimly. He still couldn't forget the tears he saw in the woman's eyes as they left the house; he also couldn't forget that bastard Makishima Shuji molesting him in the collection room. 

Geh! He really didn't want to remember that part...

Tsuzuki stood up and walked around the living room, studying it for the first time. He walked to the small fireplace, noticing something placed on top of it. He gasped as his hand reached for the porcelain doll; his finger traced the contour of her face. Her cheeks were cold, and so were her deep blue eyes. And then he remembered what Mayuko had told him, about the Muraki she met a long time ago. The lonely Muraki, holding a porcelain doll in his arms.

_Why do you have to care?!_

He put the doll back as he heard the rustling sound from the doorway. Muraki had finished his bath and wore the white bathrobe Tsuzuki had seen this morning. He felt his stomach roll at the sudden memory of this morning's incident, and he ran to the bathroom without paying further intention to the doctor, slamming the door behind him.

He didn't even know what he wanted right now. One thing for sure was that he wanted to get back to Meifuu and see his friends again. He wanted to see if Hisoka was all right now, wanted to make sure that he wasn't having those nightmares again. But hadn't he promised himself he wouldn't regret his decision to come to Muraki for help?! He didn't have any other choice anyway... Not if Hisoka's soul was at stake...

In the end, he only showered quickly and put his shirt and trousers back on, forgetting completely to brush his hair; it always looked messy no matter what he did. He was glad Muraki wasn't waiting for him again in the bedroom, although he knew he couldn't run away from the doctor forever. Sooner or later...

He walked to the door separating the bedroom from the living room, pushed the doorknob gently and stepped through. The room was rather dark; Tsuzuki noticed the sky had gone dark, the rain still falling heavily outside. His eyes swept the entire room and found the only source of lighting. The fireplace crackled, Muraki kneeling in front of it, starting the fire to warm the room.

The fire reflected gold upon the doctor's white shirt and trousers; and Tsuzuki was forced to step closer. Muraki noticed his presence and stretched his hand towards him, smiling gently. "Come here, Tsuzuki-san, you'll get cold..."

Tsuzuki sat in front of the fire with the doctor, not saying a single word as his eyes drifted to the fireplace. Muraki was the one who broke the silence. "The heater isn't functioning, this is the only thing I can do to warm the room."

"Ah." The violet-eyed man nodded vaguely, eyes never leaving the fire.

"I'll cook dinner," Muraki said suddenly. "Are you hungry?"

The shinigami pondered. "No."

He heard the sound of liquid being poured into a glass; Muraki put a glass of red wine in the violet-eyed man's hand. "Let's drink, Tsuzuki-san, to your health..."

Tsuzuki's mouth open and closed, eyes planted to the liquid inside his glass. If he could only get drunk before the night was over...

He swallowed the whole glass in two gulps and turned to Muraki, "One more glass..." He said it almost like a plea.

The doctor finished his own glass and refilled Tsuzuki's. The shinigami drank his wine to the last drop and once again pushed his glass towards Muraki. "Again..."

Muraki took the glass and put it away along with his own glass. Tsuzuki almost screamed in frustration at not getting what he wanted. He needed the drink, he needed to forget everything, to wash everything away. Muraki turned to face him; until then, the shinigami hadn't realized the silver-haired man wasn't wearing his glasses. 

"Tsuzuki-san," he whispered thickly, hands reaching out to touch Tsuzuki's cheek. The shinigami was startled by the sudden contact, surprised because of the warmth that radiated from the other's fingers. He felt a lump in his throat, suffocating him. "Don't torture yourself with it... Just let it be..."

His eyes were burning, ready to cry. He knew that he couldn't control his emotions any longer as the doctor shifted closer and kissed his neck gently, whispering the words, "Give yourself to me willingly, and I promise you it will feel good..."

"No--" Tsuzuki's voice was swallowed by the sound of the thunder cracking the sky. He felt the mouth moving against the area between his shoulder and neck, leaving warm traces against his pulse. Skillful fingers worked to unbutton his shirt and he felt the heat of the fire beginning to flow over his skin.

Muraki pulled away just slightly, smiling at him almost sincerely before planting a kiss on his lips. For the first time, Tsuzuki tried to understand what was inside the silver eye. No, no... it couldn't be true...

_I've always known that he was lonely..._

He remembered the words Mayuko had spoken today; he remembered the Muraki who had stood before the glass door the other night. If he could only pity this man who had killed so many people, who had hurt innocent people... 

Tsuzuki felt himself being pushed down to the rug as Muraki planted hot kisses all over his neck and down. Another peal of thunder crashed, filling the room with its lightning. His eyes saw that porcelain doll on top of the fireplace, sitting in the dark with a blank expression in her eyes. 

_He was lonely..._

He closed his eyes as he felt his back touch the warm rug, felt Muraki's weight settle on top of him. His hands were trapped in a strong grip, but he had no thoughts of running away. His body strained in fear, sweat forming on his forehead, while his heart beat faster every minute. 

"Tsuzuki-san." A whisper and then a kiss followed. The shinigami opened his eyes and saw Muraki smiling in triumph. "You're finally mine, ne?"

A low chuckle hovered in his ear; lustful kisses were planted on the side of his neck and Tsuzuki started to cry. He knew that this time, Muraki was right.

-tbc-

* * * * *

notes: go to my site for the uncensored edition (apparently I can't write the direct address because FFnet won't allow it *cries* it's sorta missing in the preview, you know what I mean...). I'm trying to play by the rules that there aren't suppose to be any lemon content in FFnet *snerk* (not because the admin erased 2 of my fics because of that, ack!). For you who don't want to read the lemon part you could skip it. It won't change the story too much, I think..

Leave a review! here, there, anywhere I can see it so I know what you think, ok?! Thank you reviewers for being so kind with me and tolerated my mistakes and madness, if you spotted it... *hugs*

- kaz misaki  
www.geocities.com/aosou23/


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